Feel Like You're Not Getting Anywhere with Men?

Whether you are 65 or 25, single or divorced with children, it doesn't matter! I will show you techniques that cut you loose from any mistakes or baggage you're hanging onto with men. It will be like starting over again from scratch with that fantastic feeling of wonder, hope, and faith that the right man will be just around the corner.
Best of all, my information really makes you feel strong and proud to be a woman. You don't have to give up your integrity or your standards! Visit my website on How to Be Irresistible to Men and take your search for love to the next level!


What Do You Do When a Relationship Isn’t Quite Perfect?

Tuesday, August 1, 2006

posted by amy

I immediately get suspicious when someone tells me that their partner is perfect.  Knowing what I do about the relationship life cycle, I assume that the couple is still in their honeymoon stage.  They're infatuated with their idealized vision of one another.  They believe that none of the conflicts that happen to other people will happen to them.  Unlike others, they will never fall out of love, never argue, never break up…

It is a beautiful innocence, when a relationship starts.  It can feel like all of the dark burden of the past has been erased.  You're starting over with someone who isn't anything like your ex.  You've learned your lesson, so you aren't going to make the same mistakes.  This time, everything is going to go right.

Except, of course … it doesn't.

And it won't.  That's simply how relationships work.

Understanding this concept can save so much grief in relationships.  That's why I discuss it at length in the 2006 Edition of "How to Be Irresistible to Men."

But the one idea that you can take away right now is that discovering imperfection in your partner is actually a wonderful thing.

It means he's real.

It means you see the person beneath the boyfriend … the person he is rather than the person you want him to be.

So when a relationship isn't quite perfect, it can mean one of two things:

  1. It can mean that you're moving onto the next level in your relationship, when you're starting to see one another more realistically and are able to evaluate more clearly whether or not the relationship has staying power.
  2. It can mean that intuition is telling you that something needs to change.  That something could be as simple as getting something out into the open (communication) or as extensive as rethinking your lifestyle.

When you get dissatisfied with a relationship, the immediate instinct is to blame him or to blame yourself.  Maybe you've been busy and stressed; maybe he's said some insensitive things.

But when you blame one another for a less than satisfying relationship, you don't add any positive energy back into the situation.  Nothing will get better because you've figured out whose fault it is.

The other instinct is to guess what he's thinking, wanting, or needing.  I always strongly counsel against trying to read your partner's mind.  Ask him.  Directly.

Then ask yourself, "What needs do I have that aren't getting fulfilled?"  Chances are that you feel something is lacking that you need to feel happy.  You know your own needs better than anyone.

That's the fantastic thing about feeling that a relationship isn't quite perfect.  It's a wake-up call.  It's telling you to be honest with yourself.  It spurs honest communication between the two of you.

If you can take positive action, you'll grow through the experience into a richer and more satisfying relationship (or take the steps to end an unhealthy situation).  If you get caught up in blame or feeling depressed, you'll find that your relationships always seem to take a nose dive at the first sign of imperfection.

You have the power to change a less than perfect relationship into something that fulfills you or to leave it.  Never forget it.

5 Comments

985

Comment by Vanessa

August 1, 2006 @ 7:47 pm

What you say might be right in this chapter. What if you are married and after a long time you dicover that it is not the man you wanted to be with.What if he is unromantic,and everything in your relationship is being dominated by him. If you leave you will hurt him. I am love my husband but yet i would love to be with someone else. explain that to me…i dont know. I seduced this other man and we made love as we both wanted to share that part with each other and I love the way he gently touched me…unlike me husband wanting to try new things and rush everything. I do value what you said and i would love to have this man next to my side…cause i know that when I need someone he will be there for me.

986

Comment by purnima

August 1, 2006 @ 8:00 pm

hi Amy,
that is a good insight. we need to realize that we are the shapers of our life. when we take control over our minds and thoughts, we can lead greatly satisfying lives, be it in dating life or otherwise.

991

Comment by Boingotlo

August 1, 2006 @ 9:22 pm

Hi Amy

thanks for todays article, that is one thing that we never realise in relationships. at first when people fall in love everything is perfect, you always want to impress your partner, respect and love are there all the time, but what i have a problem is why is that when the relationship gets older those things seem to fade away. i wish you could help in this area? you start to enjoy the company of other men than your boyfriend, your boyfriend on the other hand does the same. how can two people love each other unconditionally till eternity. is it possible?

Comment by kristina

August 4, 2006 @ 5:01 pm

Yes I HAVE PROBLEMS WITH HAVING A LONG TERM RELATIONSHIP, THEY NEVER SEEM TO LAST VERY LONG! I CANT UNDERSTAND WHY, BUT LATELY I BEEN TAKING INVENTORY OF MY PAST RELATIONSHIPS, AND IM REALIZING THAT I HAVE A PROBLEM TRUSTING MEN,ALL THE MEN I HAVE DATED HAVE BEEN UN-FAITHFUL. SO IM THINKING WHY WHAT IS IT THAT I DO TO CAUSE THISW OR AM I THE ONE WHO MAKES THEM,IM REALLY CONFUSED, ALSO I FEAR THEM LEAVING ME,I BECOME TO ATTACHED AND SADDEN WHEN THEY DO LEAVE TO GO ANYWHERE. JUST LIKE I USED TO WHEN I WAS A CHILD,I WOULD CRY AND THEY WOULD HAVE TO HOLD ME DOWN WHENEVER MY MOTHER WOULD GO TO WORK, CAN YOU PUT SOME LIGHT ON MY SITUATION PLEASE,THANK YOU

Comment by Janice

August 7, 2006 @ 8:22 pm

Are some men so alien that they can appear to have multiple personality disorder? (I'm tired of the 'Twilight Zone' effect I keep encountering, and no longer believe my ex-fiance ever loved me. Realistically, I would have to say that he does have MPD; or, I have been led down the biggest lie path. I really dislike thinking negative about any individual, but I have to ask myself just how stupid am I?) Sincerely, Janice

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

STOP!

You may be making mistakes that will jeopardize your ability to attract men! My How To Be Irresistible To Men course has helped thousands of women just like you to meet and attact fantastic men. If you're on the verge of giving up because all you've been meeting is Mr. Wrong or Mr. Unavailable or Mr. Only-After-One-Thing, then you owe it to yourself to take one last chance. You CAN develop the relationship you always dreamed about. My course is guaranteed to deliver real results and change your life!

Most women give up on their love life because they don't know what they're doing wrong with men. They don't know why he stops calling, why he loses interest, or why the love dies. You have to learn what it takes to attract men WITHOUT compromising your integrity with mindgames or wasting time and effort. Get the whole package that gives you REAL results guaranteed. Right Now!

Get my course on attracting men and put an end to your man troubles!