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Book Review of Christian Carter’s Catch Him and Keep Him

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

posted by amy

A lot of women have asked me recently what I thought of Christian Carter’s book, Catch Him and Keep HimShould they buy it?  What was it like?  Is he cute?

Let me answer the most important question first: yes, Christian Carter is cute!  He’s fair-haired and good-looking in that sunkissed California kind of way.  For any of you who’ve seen his DVD series on "Natural and Lasting Attraction," you’ll know what I mean.

He’s a genuinely great guy who also happens to be a great catch.  He’s the kind of guy that you imagine would have been nice to the girls who liked him in school, even if he didn’t like them back.  This guy has his life sorted, amazing women around him, and an enormous heart that’s truly concerned about why women out there aren’t getting the relationships they want.

On to the next question: what is the book like?

It’s an inside look into how men think, from the perspective of a good-looking guy who’s been there, done that.

I find the maleness of the book overwhelming.  This isn’t written by a fatherly counselor or a gay best guy friend: Christian Carter is very much in touch with his masculinity, and he pulls no punches.  He tells you what guys are like: the bare bald facts that most of us don’t want to hear.

In our hearts, I think many of us wish that men could be more like women.  We wish that men could enjoy talking about their feelings more, could give up their addictions to toys and start getting hooked on family, even enjoy shopping with us more than a few times a year.

According to Christian, that sort of thinking has to stop.  Men live in a different reality, and it is our job as women to understand where men are coming from without judgement. 

In order to assist you with sorting the wheat from the chaff, Christian gives you a valuable taxonomy of the kinds of guys out there who’ll steal your heart.  Learn how to recognize a Player and the motives that drive them to play with hearts.  Find yourself challenged to consider why you’re attracted to strong, dominant unavailable men and bad boys … exactly the sort of men who will not make good relationship material.

One of Christian’s central themes is the importance of understanding your emotional responses and acting on them appropriately.  He challenges women to look at how flimsy their intuitive sense of a "connection" with a man really is: e.g., while the woman is sure he’s "the One" and planning their wedding invitations after the first date, he’s just thinking what a great gal she is and how great the sex will be.  Christian injects a note of reality:

"You’d be crazy to take the close relationship and love you want to find and gamble it away by betting on a guy whose greatest qualification is that he makes you feel attracted to him." (p.33) 

Christian challenges you to be realistic about your expectations and assess your "emotional fitness."  Do you take responsibility for your life, or do you play the victim?  Are you a "cool girl" or a "hysterical woman"?  His list of Cool Girl Do’s and Don’ts struck home.  He’s right on the money about the kind of girl guys think is a great catch.

He spends a great deal of time detailing the difference between the kind of girl guys see as casual hookups and the kind of girl that men will view as long-term relationship material.  Girls, if you let yourself get walked all over by guys and sleep with them in hopes that your sexual intimacy will lead to emotional intimacy, you need to read this.

Finally, the question is: should you buy Christian Carter’s book?

I would give it my thumbs-up for one reason in particular: the fantastic "Interviews with Dating & Relationships Experts" CDs included free as a bonus with the Catch Him and Keep Him e-book.

Why?  Well, I’ve read a lot of dating books.  I prefer the hard science of Helen Fisher or the psychological insight of Harville Hendrix, both Ph.D.s in their respective fields.  Yet for an e-book, Christian Carter’s publication stands out: Catch Him and Keep Him is professional, well-written, and great value for money (it’s 183 pages).

What Christian Carter’s package does offer that other hardcopy books don’t is an amazing set of audio CDs in which Christian interviews dating and relationship experts and asks them the most common questions women have.  The audio experience adds a dimension to the information that you can’t get from a book.  And you get a month’s subscription to the CD series FREE when you buy Catch Him and Keep Him.

So if you’re keen to learn more, visit the Catch Him and Keep Him website here.

16 Comments

Comment by Donna

September 20, 2006 @ 1:46 am

Thank you! I bought and read the book and I find that looking at relationships from the mans point of view – really has helped me in my own. It was a great eye opener, because all we really know as women is what WE think or feel.
I’m glad Christian has laid it all on the line – yes, some of it is hard to take and swallow, but sometimes girls – we need that wake up call too.
Thanks for the Great Review. I think I’m going to get the DVDs!

Comment by Janis

September 20, 2006 @ 7:58 am

Amy… I’m probably one of those functioning BabyBoomers many women wish they were (& that’s not bragging… ask them… some of us settled for the family thing… others, like me preferred freedom… cool) I just think that women should respect the fact that they Have a Choice at Any stage of their life… THEY must respect that choice, nobody else can do it for them.
However, small towns may think they have a problem…
Absolutely Wrong!! Women are awesome… as a Group, they are downright feared :)) Don’t u think that the women of every small town (we call them do-orpies here in South Africa) needs to consider where she can make a difference to help other women…
Men. my darling, are the same the world over… AS WOMEN, we need to ID & Really Screw the Bad ONES..
Shame hey…. I love men to bits

Comment by Suzay

September 20, 2006 @ 6:23 pm

Christian Carter is how I found Amy Waterman.-BOTH Christian and Amy, all of their resources, books and other people that they utilize and recommend-I’ve been buying, reading, studying avidly, like I can’t get enough.
All phases of my life and relationships have dramatically improved, not just ones with the opposite sex,although that has gotten better as well.
For instance-both authors refer to Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages- I just receive my copy-what an incredible book-tears streamed down my face reading it–you’ll never see live the same way, and just have to get your own copy…
I think both of them, Christian and Amy, together form the pinnacle, the quintessence-yet it is ever growing-each with their own featured specialists with insights that simply are life changing, and immediately usable information based soundly on what works.- Because culturally as women we were taught such crap about men and relationships, if we were taught anything at all with any substance–Is there any wonder why the divorce rate is so high,50%.
Now is your chance to get real. Get BOTH-share them at girls night, share with your daughters-we all need solid information especially in this core area of life.

Comment by JT

October 23, 2006 @ 8:06 pm

Where can we see a picture of the elusive CC? I’ve tried to google him and read a bio but all I keep getting is results leading to how to buy the book.? I trust he is also writing a book for guys on all of the BIG MISTAKES they make with women.? Relationships are a two way street and noone should walk on eggshells for the other. As a couple’s therapist I can tell you that men must compromise and put themselves in the women’s shoes in order for their to be a quality relationship. Just like it wouldn’t be fair for a woman to demand a guy always go shopping with her and watch chick flicks… a guys should not demand he gets his way all the time too. The happiest guys I know have learned to compromise and put themselves (frequently) in their women’s shoes. The most unhappy men and women are in relationships where the man only thinks of himself and his point of view.

Comment by hala koleilat

October 30, 2006 @ 1:58 am

where can i find the book in lebanon and how much does it cost

Comment by Yabbi

November 22, 2006 @ 6:49 pm

Hala: the book is only available from the author’s web site. It isn’t a printed book, it’s a computer document you can only download from the author’s web site.

I think it’s a bit expensive, though.

Comment by Justine

March 2, 2007 @ 8:11 am

Christian Carter great catch? is he single? and if yes…how come still single and why? hasnt he yet sorted it out? lol And yeah, great book great c.d.’s very good psychological insight. Read it at least twice girls!

Comment by Gina

March 5, 2007 @ 8:44 am

RE:Because culturally as women we were taught such crap about men and relationships,

This is so true. And all men are taught is that a woman is “hot” if she puts her vagina on a silver platter and has a hot little body. It’s sick and I’m finished.

Comment by carol

May 18, 2007 @ 3:51 am

How much does the book cost? I know there should be no price associated with being able to have this information (smile!), but obviously Christian has placed a price on it, and I would like to know it before I start entering my credit card info online.

Comment by Amy

May 18, 2007 @ 10:34 am

At the moment, it’s priced at $29.97.

Comment by nay

June 18, 2007 @ 5:09 am

what stops me from buying this ebook is i dont trust to use my cedit card online …

Comment by BillieJean

August 9, 2007 @ 9:35 pm

I must say that I did buy the book over a year ago. It really is great and most of the tips in the book do work. If you order the kit and recieve articles sent by mail sometimes its worth a second listen. It was the best thing I ever bought on the net! I am in a wonderful relationship now and its going great!

Comment by Kat

August 11, 2007 @ 2:20 pm

Thanks to JT for her comment – I can’t help but wonder when reading these types of dating books – isn’t this just glorified ‘what can I do for you (oh glorious man) now’ advice? What’s the difference between this and telling me to wear an apron, be quiet and supportive and look beautiful 24/7 aka 50s Woman’s magazines?

What I mean is that the subtext is that we should center our life around the mission of making a man ‘ours’ –

Obviously, to anyone who has had trouble finding that forever person – and read any of the dating books – this is the same type of criticism leveled against ‘The Rules’. Speaking of which – I don’t see a lot of differences between that book and this one by CC.

Anyway, maybe if we were reading more books on business, marketing and how to make money fast – there would be a ‘Catch Her and Keep Her’ book here instead of this one.

Comment by amy

August 13, 2007 @ 8:29 am

Kat, I completely agree that the title of Christian Carter’s book is unfortunate. A relationship is not about “catching” someone else; it’s not about “getting” a man or “hooking” a man. It’s about creating something together that’s bigger than two individuals. In fact, Dr. Harville Hendrix believes that relationships are about healing one another, so that we can grow to our fullest emotional and spiritual potential as human beings.

That’s why, in my course, I teach women that the only person you can REALLY do anything about is yourself. You can’t “make” a man do anything; manipulation will only yield short-term rewards. But what you CAN do is become the sort of person who is so naturally loving, so accepting of herself and others, and so wise in seeing who truly is right for her, that she’s irresistibly attractive to EVERYONE.

But, with all that said, I don’t believe that it’s fair to characterize Christian Carter’s book based on the title alone. His goal is to help women see men from a man’s point of view. For example, he talks about the dangers of seeing yourself as the “victim” of bad relationships, and of getting so wrapped up in your emotions that you fail to see the situation from an objective point of view.

Too, he’s perfectly happy admitting that he has learned much of what he knows from the amazing women in his life, and that he’s speaking from a place of sharing his take on the differences between the genders, RATHER than dictating what women should do.

We’re lucky today that we have SO many options when it comes to dating and relationship advice that suits US, rather than a cookie-cutter idea of what women in general should be like. It really is up to you whose advice you decide to take!

Comment by morphy agatha

October 18, 2007 @ 12:15 am

i appreciate ur effort and all all ur couragement to both sex. god bless u all.

Comment by Lauren

October 24, 2007 @ 5:19 pm

Hi Christian,
I’d like to know if your relationship tools helped you find a “mate.” Thanks for letting us know.

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