When I first started working at 000Relationships.com, I wondered who the women were who wrote in to thank Sarah Paul (author of "How to Be Irresistible to Men") from all over the world. Were they teenagers wanting to have greater success with boys? Were they women in their thirties getting ready to marry? Or were they like my female friends: lovely, intelligent women of all ages and ethnicities who wanted to understand their relationship with men better?
Before I came to 000Relationships.com, I finished a master's degree in writing in the UK. I'd spent my last summer there living in a flat with an English friend, Eve. Eve was a mother, university student, and recent divorcé. Mid-life, she was starting over again. Yet instead of feeling filled with fear for being on her own for the first time since she was a teenager, Eve embraced her new life. She tackled classes with the same youthful spirit she employed playing with her children. She dated, went clubbing, started the gym, and worked with the elderly in her spare time.
The sheer amount of activity in her life staggered me. I'd established a simple habit of working on my thesis, working out, and seeing friends, and that was enough for me. But Eve met men everywhere: on her routes, at clubs, on the net. Her bubbly, vivacious attitude warmed men tired of rejection on the clubbing circuit. They could always count on Eve's laughter and smile.
I learned so much that summer about men and about the power of a positive attitude. Even though Eve faced greater challenges than I did, she kept a positive outlook in public and let her joy radiate outwards even when inside she was feeling sorrowful. I knew that her divorce and being away from her children while at university was difficult for her, but she never let that be an excuse to doubt her life or the importance of what she was doing. She reached out to all of us in love and kept her anger at the divorce firmly directed at the person who was responsible for it, not at life in general.
Over the past year at 000Relationships.com, I learned that many of the women wanting more information on how to have better relationships and attract the right men were not teeny-boppers or inexperienced. They were women like Eve.
Amazing, incredible women.
Women who knew that being good at relationships is not a skill we are born with.
Women who knew that the path to excellence in anything, including relationships, is research, practice, and living the message.
These women had had long-term relationships before, and this time around they wanted to know how to do it right. They had so much love to give men, if they could only get over the shields and defenses they'd built up from previous rejections.
I have a message for all those women out there who turn to us or to other relationship experts seeking the magic key to love.
There is hope. Never ever believe there's not hope. Happiness lies ahead for you, if you can only quiet that nagging voice inside that tells you to doubt. That voice is wrong. Don't doubt. Believe in yourself. Believe in your potential for happiness.
Women have found the man of their dreams at 17, at 29, at 44 or 75. There is no age cut-off date for love.
There are so many men dreaming of love right now, just as you are dreaming of love. They want you to love them as much as you want them to love you. If you can learn to give the men in your life love right now (friends, family members, the bus driver, the postman, even strangers!), then love will be given back to you in abundance, as much as you ever dreamed of.
That's a law of the universe. What you give is what you shall receive. A person who is stingy with love (which I know you are not) will find that love rarely knocks on their door.
Have faith, hope, and love. No matter what your situation, how old you are, how much time you have, there is always a door in your heart on which love can come knocking.
