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Facing a Beautiful Future

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

posted by amy

Quick … find the closest mirror to you and take a quick glance.  What do you see?

Did you see the blemishes in your beauty routine?  Did your makeup need freshening up?  Was your hair out of sorts?

Were you smiling?

All of us have a habitual expression.  It's the expression our face falls into when we are absorbed in a task.  When you are washing dishes, watching television, or even reading your computer screen, your face is composed in a particular expression that is unique to you.

It is very hard for us to actually see that expression.  When we look at ourselves in the mirror, we tend to focus on particular parts of our face, usually the lips, eyes, general skin condition, and hair.  I don't know many women who won't glance in a mirror on a trip to the bathroom to check that their lipstick, eyemakeup, powder, and hair is in order.

What we don't realize is that the most important aspect of our face isn't our makeup.  It's our expression.

When you are tired, no amount of makeup can make your eyes look bright and lively.
When you are sad, no amount of lipgloss can make your lips turn up in a happy picture-perfect bow.
When you are stressed, no amount of foundation can keep the worried wrinkles from showing through.

The powers of makeup are extraordinary, but they can't make us look happy, well-rested, and relaxed if we're tired, stressed, and unhappy.

So take a look in the mirror again.  This time, ask yourself…

Do you look happy? 

Looking happy will make you more beautiful than all the beauty routines in the world.

The times when a woman is most radiant, such as on her wedding day, or when she is about to become a mother, are those times when she is most blissfully happy.

When I think back on the times that men have told me that I am beautiful, it is often when I least expect it, in those moments that we have shared some intimacy and I am completely content and happy to be with him.

When you're happy, you glow.  It's a glow that can't be replicated by makeup, facials, or a summer tan.

To look for evidence of how our inner state affects our facial expressions, look no further than your fellow commuters as you travel to work in the morning.  As I walk through the inner city, I often am amused at how easily I can tell who is looking forward to a good day and who is not.  Those who are in a hurry, with heads down and faces grim, don't invite a second glance.  It is those women sashaying to work, as though on a fantasy catwalk, who draw the eye.  When I see a woman with her head up and a smile on her face, I smile back at her involuntarily and take a second look, trying to guess the reason for her good spirits.

So before you invest in that next beauty treatment, try something new: a beauty treatment for the soul.  Spend some time doing something that makes you feel more peaceful, happier, and more fulfilled.  A walk in a park, a few moments spent sitting quietly in a church, a good deed done for someone, a message read in an inspiring book … there are so many ways that we can beautify the spirit.

Because ultimately your face will change into a wrinkled version of itself, and age will wipe clear those beautiful features that you so carefully drew attention to.  But the beauty that comes from a soul-level peace and joy with life will continue to radiate.

And the next time you look in the mirror, don't feel too fussed about the state of your hair or makeup.  Instead, ask yourself if you look happy, rested, peaceful and content.

I hope your answer will usually be yes.

34 Comments

Comment by SGC

August 30, 2006 @ 1:29 am

Well said Amy!!! The whole world looks dull, gloomy and disappointed, when you are not happy from within. The minute you feel at peace within yourself and wear that smile on, you know the whole world is going to rejoice with you for the big as well as the small things.
And yes, I definitely agree with you, no amount of make up or well-groomed hair makes you radiate, as much as the ‘genuine smile’.
Thank you for bringing that back to the surface.

Comment by Nagham

August 30, 2006 @ 1:34 am

Thank you Amy so much for this article.. It’s absolutely true that the psychological state affects how we look. when I’m happy I find myself gorgeous when I look in the mirror but when Im sad I see myself very pale.. I’ll always put what you wrote in the article in mind and always care about my happiness and peacefullness more than my auter looks.

Comment by PAM

August 30, 2006 @ 1:41 am

I absolutely love the sober way you explain the areas in our lives, where we fall short or where we lack the appropriate knowledge to empower us as woman. the manner in which it is presented is very uncomplicated and makes everything just soooo easy.
We are busy with a non-profit magazine and I want to ask your permission if I can use some of the articles as our target people are those who cannot does not have internet let alone e-mail.

waiting to hear from you

regards
Pam

Comment by Monica

August 30, 2006 @ 1:43 am

This is a message with so much to offer. Beauty starts from within, and so does love. One day i missed my bus home. instead of being sad, i thought well, never mind, i will catch the next one. Thank God its not the last bus 🙂 i decided to be thankful, smile and walk to a near store. On the way, this guy drove by and stopped. he said hi, we talked and exchanged numbers. He turned out to be a real nice guy 🙂 the point is, it was one of those when i smiled. we cant stop events from hapenning but we can change what they mean to us. “i am so upset i missed my bus, i will sulk until the next one comes” or, ” oops, next time i will learn to leave a couple minutes earlier. what a lovely day, why dont i take a walk 🙂 “

Comment by Fatema

August 30, 2006 @ 1:49 am

Amy,

You sure know the way to our heart and our minds too! The article on inner beauty is so true and inspiring. Indeed, I have experienced the same. The best compliments come when they are least expected and then we struggle with ourselves to believe it or not?!
Many blessing to your body, mind and soul…

Comment by Rem

August 30, 2006 @ 1:54 am

I totally agree with this article. I am a fairly nice looking woman, but I notice when I am going through a problem or conflict, I may be sitting and reading or writing and someone may say “You look sad” or “You look mean” or “You look upset” and most of the time they mis-interpet my expression.

So, I have been working on my facial expression, but, I realized it is not just your mannerisms, it is the way you feel about yourself also. The more I learn to love myself, The less I hear those comments.

Outstanding article. Makes you think and want to take heed concerning your beliefs, mindset and attitude.

Thank you

Comment by liz

August 30, 2006 @ 2:18 am

Amy,
true beauty as you rightly pointed out comes from within. i can count the number of times, my hubby extold my beauty: those times, when we’ve spent time together and i am truly happy, contented and relaxed!!
when you smile always and stay happy nomatter the situations you face, you won’t need any beauty treatment. you will glow naturally!!!

liz

Comment by Tope

August 30, 2006 @ 2:30 am

Thanks Amy for this beautiful article. It is good to be reminded that It takes “YOU” to be happy. I noticed personally whenever i am happy things happen to work out one way or the other but when unhappy everything doesnt go on well. A smile goes a long way especially days that you are sad. People are attracted to you when you smile. A smile makes you beautiful and lastly it is the least expensive thing to do. SO ladies!! keep on smiling and bring out the beauty in you.

Comment by sam

August 30, 2006 @ 2:31 am

i really believ in this hey.its quite true tht most of us women fuss over petty things like hair and makeup and totally forget about our facial expressions.i believ thez more to life than beautifyin yourself only on the outside.your expressions are also a reflection of who you are on the inside.so al your woman out ther, start making a beauty lift on your inner attitude.spend QUALITY time on wats really important,WHO YOU ARE ON THE INSIDE.

Comment by Penny

August 30, 2006 @ 2:59 am

Your article struck a chord with me. I’ll be the first to admit that I probably primp way too much, and it isn’t even necessary usually! Just this past weekend my boyfriend unexpectedly told me I was “glowing”, and that I looked happy……..The fact was, YES I had just spent a wonderful weekend with the man I love. I was disheveled from previous intimacy, and a short nap, nonetheless he told me I was beautiful! I am now a true believer in the old adage…”attitude is everything”!

Comment by Judith

August 30, 2006 @ 3:03 am

The only thing that makes me put on a smile is having a chat with my one and only friend online, i have high hopes with him and vice-versa. But, recently he came up with an idea that i should not spend alot of time online. well i tried doing this, keeping off from him, cultivating how to make maself happy without having a word with him. However, this has turned out to be one of ma saddest days; i.e the days am not talking to him. Please advice me, What am i suppose to do? Coz when i reacted to his idea of not being online, i felt like i was running away from a problem, hiding from him, and simply reacting on ma bad moods towards his comment. I reacted this way coz i got mad at him on the grounds that he suggested it.

Please gimme some tips on how to make an online relationship a success. THANK YOU. I just feel am not doing something right.

Comment by swettha

August 30, 2006 @ 3:16 am

its so true amy.though we know certain facts we dont really follow dem unless someone mentions it.jus as u did.ur advices are like angels blessings.thanks alot.wat more a women wants dan looking beautiful for her guy n the world.thanks again n do send me some more advices.

love,swettha

Comment by Kat

August 30, 2006 @ 4:11 am

You’re absolutely right. True beauty is something that radiates from within. Make-up, hair products, and your outfit are just something to add a little edge. A person will never be satisfied with their overall image if they don’t feel content with themselves and their spirit.

Keep up the good work!

Comment by cheryl

August 30, 2006 @ 4:26 am

Thanks for the email Amy! its completely true what you say,about your facial expressions and how you feel inside is more important than make up alone,to make you show off your natural beauty.I like to think i am attractive but often i get tired and stressed and i do catch my face in a mirror sometimes and notice how miserable i look.Most of the time i don’t realise i look like this and people have commented that i look sad or worried.It also makes you appear old.Which no woman wants.So i am going to make more of an effort to smile more and be aware of my eye expression.I don’t want to get any worry lines forming,i will try and hold them off for as long as i can.

Comment by Lisa

August 30, 2006 @ 4:36 am

I’ve been receiving your newsletters for ages but never made the time to read them. However, I did notice the change over in writers so said to myself I owe it to me and to you (Amy) to read what you have to say and this message about “inner beauty” was the first. WOW!!! Spot on! This is the stuff I want and need to hear. Verbatim, you have reached into my inner core and spoken to my heart, soul and mind. I’m so glad I didn’t unsubscribe from the newsletter. I listened to my voice beyond the voice within that said hang on to these, you never know they may come in handy some day. All I can say now is that I’m looking forward to reading the next one. I guess the hardest thing for me to say and to see when I look in the mirror is that I was once a beautiful young woman, but life and circumstances happens and now I see a sad angry reflection staring back at me, just as you said, the mouth pointing down, the jowls, the beautiful bright green eyes no longer sparkling and standing out like they used to and the compliments they got me. I too get told that “I look sad or angry” when all I doing is thinking. I now see in me the faces of those sad commuters I used to examine 20 years ago when I travelled on the bus to work….exactly as Amy said in this article. I’m looking forward to now reading last week’s about being angry at my man. I know he’s not to blame for my life not turning out as I imagined. I think childhood fairytales have a lot to answer for…

Lisa

Comment by Marie Jacquelyne

August 30, 2006 @ 5:48 am

ABSOLUTELY THE TRUTH! There is nothing I can add! So I make it a point to always have a smile no matter what, even when I am alone. What good is it to unhappy anyway, only hurts you and not the other who hasn’t a clue or care in the world about how you feel.

Comment by Lisbeny

August 30, 2006 @ 5:49 am

wow amy, this is amazing. it is so refreshing to finally read an article that doesn't say "the scent of a woman is what entices a man" or "your perfect pink pout will drive him crazy"…yea, those are helpful, but on those days when that is impossible, it is great to know that we can rejuvenate our look simply by displaying a genuine smile, by spreading warmth and happiness (as cheesy as it may sound) with a kind, happy face. integrity in a woman is perhaps the most beautiful thing we own.

Comment by Sandy

August 30, 2006 @ 2:55 pm

Your article on the radiant glow that comes from within is sooo TRUE. I have been blessed with a beautiful spirit and am ALWAYS smiling… It is true…I can’t tell you how many men I have met in person and online because of my smile. It tends to get me in trouble sometimes…LOL, but that can be FUN too!!! The man I am currently dating tells me that I am more vibrant and alive than anyone he has ever met….hey…it works for moi!!

Comment by Stephanie

August 30, 2006 @ 10:44 pm

GREAT ARTICLE!!!! I finally understand what my best friends have been going on about. I have never considered myself beautiful, nor do I worry tooooo much about my apperence, but 2 months ago I started dating a wonderful young man and all of a sudden my friends started commenting on how wonderful and beautiful I looked. After reading your article, I realized, that its beacause I´m sooooo happy. Because of the love that my boyfriend shows me I am happier, more relaxed and generally a nicer person, and its coming out in my expressions. KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK !!!!!!!!!!

Comment by Khadija

August 31, 2006 @ 12:05 am

Hi
Iam so happy to have read this article.it has given me the best teaching of all. thanks again iam now able to know why guys keep on falling for me. its my expression, my smiling face that always makes my face glowing. this is such an excellent article that i will forward it to my freinds who are really having problems when it comes to relationship.waiting for more articles.

Regards

Khadija

Comment by Wache

August 31, 2006 @ 2:00 am

You are absolutely right. You can have all fashions available, make your hair and look smart but if you are not happy, contented you wont be as smart as one who is happy. Happiness makes one to glow so I believe in smiling all the time. You have said it all and I am waiting for more.

Comment by Linda

August 31, 2006 @ 2:33 am

As I’ve gotten older, wiser and much more accepting of who I am and who I’ve become, I found that while make-up helps, what really makes the biggest difference in attracting people is how comfortable and confident I am about me! Being happy and less self-absorbed is soooo much more interesting to others than being crabby and wallowing in one’s own baggage!

Comment by Judy Ryall

August 31, 2006 @ 6:18 am

There was a time i hated to look at my self in the mirror. Thank God i learned a long time ago that i cannot change my face so i may as well accept it. After doing just that, my world began to change. I accepted me for myself. I smiled, and laughted more, i could’t believe the transformation in my facial appearance.I looked and felt younger. I will be 60 in a few months..and i still look and feel much younger..with or with out makeup.
I love to read all of your articles. I save all of them and re-read each one. So much wisdon to be shared. Thank You

Comment by Ibiso

August 31, 2006 @ 8:14 pm

Hi Amy,

This is really true. I have learnt to try to be happy no matter the situation I find myself. Because unhappiness actually makes one grows old!

Thanks so much.

Comment by Lisa

September 1, 2006 @ 2:58 am

Rock On Amy! Now we’ve all heard that smiling takes less muscles than does frowning, and it’s not a hard thing to do. I’ve also heard that smiling creates less wrinkles than a frown, when we get much, much older that is. And honestly, to tell the truth, I can’t wait to grow old and have wrinkles, wrinkles that tell me I was a happy person in my youth.

And thanks for reminding me.

Comment by Sarah

September 1, 2006 @ 3:08 am

hi amy,

that is a really nice article. i havent read anything that sweet in a long time- something that will actually make me smile.

thanks for that.

Comment by beverley

September 1, 2006 @ 3:39 am

this article is so true.Its not whats on the outside,because that fades,its whats in the inside that really matters. I can testify to that. After splitting up from my ex i am at peace now. I have folk telling me i glow ,i walk with a bounce and is constantly finding things to laugh at and i have a twinkle now in my eye and that is the best make up ever.

Comment by asina

September 1, 2006 @ 6:14 pm

Amy,thank u so much. its so true.
asina.

Comment by Mandy

September 1, 2006 @ 7:45 pm

wow Amy, thats quite an interesting theory. never thought of it that way. will surely give it a try and beautify nyself.

l am happy thanks to you. always thought that l am that kind of a person a guy just looks at once and dont give a second glance and l understand why.

Comment by elda

September 3, 2006 @ 1:20 am

hmm..it’s a good article…i agree with u that the women’s beauty always come from the inner part…not just depends on our physical appearance…
our emotion play quite a major role as not many guys attract to women just because of its physical appearances…make ups..dressings…etc..

Comment by Geneva

September 4, 2006 @ 2:35 am

wow, that is such a good point! i am only 15, but i know exactly what you mean by how the first thing people often look at is their eyes, hair, etc…and i have to admit i am one of those people. but now that i have read your article, i am amazed by how true it is. thank you!

Comment by ukoh victoria

September 5, 2006 @ 4:36 am

thANKS SO MUCH FOR ALL UR MESSAGES IT HAS MADE LET GO ANGER AND BE FRIENDS TO PEOPLE WHO EVEN HOT ME THE MOST LIKE ME IM A VERY LIVELY PERSON U DONT EVEN KNOW WHEN IM SAD PEOPLE LIKE COMING AROUND COS I CHERISH THEM AND IM ALWAYS SMILELING I THINK A SMILEING LADY IS MORE FEMININE AND ALADY WHO USES LOVELY WORDS LIKE HOW TOTFUL OF U TO CALL HOW LOVEY U LOOK TODAY ARE ALWAYS BEAUTIFUL WOMEN

Comment by smileyes

September 7, 2006 @ 5:30 pm

Hi Amy ïÅ
Its indeed a beautiful article! To remind us that beauty is more than skin deep – that it is ‘soul-deep’!
I bet any lady can’t resist the temptation of glancing into a mirror if they are presented with one. Hmmm…even when we aren’t exactly on cloud 9, if we make a conscious effort to be happy (isn’t happiness a state of mind, after all?) it will show on our face…a person who is just happy to be part of this wide world.

However, you won’t say that we should neglect our physical appearance, right? For its undeniable that first impression counts and ‘looks’ are the first thing an outsider sees. But when they look into our eyes (which is the window to the soul) – they will read our ‘true-beauty’ ïÅ

Keep up the good work, Amy…cheerios!

Comment by Emy

September 9, 2006 @ 5:20 am

I totally agree to every single word you said. I always believed that I’m that beautiful, and I was thinking why men are attracted to me. And I found that this mainly happens for two main reasons:
– My smile
– My mind
Seriously, I cant remember how many times people told me that I’ve a beautiful smile, or commented on a photo of mine that “You have a very nice smile, You look very happy in that photo”
When I first heard such a comment, I took it as a compliment. After 10 times of hearing it, I considered it a nice thing in me. After hearing it from everyone I dated, I knew for sure that is the best thing in me, this is what makes me special for them.

I just wanna add, that losing that smile affected me, when I was in a relations with someone I really loved, he was attracted to me because of my smile, and my personality – his own words – and when I had bad times with my best friends, I was annoyed, I lost my smile, I looked depressed. All that made me lose him!!!!! So even if my smile was the thing that made him like me, if that was a real strong love, he would have accepted me as I am, ups and downs, different moods, and help me to overcome all that.

So please keep your smile as your default gesture

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