How to Pick Up Women
Who doesn't want to be as successful as Neil Strauss, aka Style, aka the ultimate relationship guru? He puts the "m" in mPUA (Master Pick-up Artist), and has helped to make guys all over the world hopeful that they can score a '10' on any given night.
But pick-up isn't always that easy. Even for Strauss, it took a looot of time, a lot of effort, and a lot of practice!
There's no one panacea, no cureall, for your relationship woes. You can't get all the girls, all the time (unless you happen to be Pierce Brosnan or Jude Law). So the first step towards getting the girls you want, is realizing that you can't get everyone!
Secondly, there's a value in choice. Though you may be content to score with just any girl, you're actually more likely to get better, higher-quality women when you know what you want, and act on it. If you don't like short, heavyset girls, don't go for them. If you do like tall, thin girls, keep on practicing until you get them. Let them know that that's the kind of woman you want. If you settle for less than what you want, you and the girl are bound for heartbreak. Relationships actually last longer and thrive more when you're honest about what you want.
Thirdly, control is paramount. I have a rule I call ABC: Always Be in Control. Whether you're deciding how to approach a girl, talking to a girl, or taking things to the next level, you're not gonna get anywhere if you're not in control of your emotions and your fears. Guys who do well with women forget about the past; it's under control. They live in the moment, and don't let any negative emotions, no matter how many of them there are, get in the way of their success. They may have failed miserably in the past, they may have been dumped unceremoniously, they may not even be good-looking at all--but they're in control, and that shows confidence. And we all know girls LOVE confidence.
Fourthly, pay attention to a girl's body language. An EXCELLENT book to read is Allan Pease's Body Language. You'll know if a girl is interested in you based on her eye contact, position of her legs (if they're closed--bad, if they're open or one leg is under her butt--great!), and if she checks her hair or makeup while talking to you. Twirling her hair around is a sign that she's into you, as well. Looking around the place, at any person except for you, is a sign that you might want to move onto someone else!
Fifth, it pays to have some good openers. Whether you're approaching a group of girls or just one, here are some surefire ways to make a great impression:
1. Use Humor.
I had a friend I did a shtick with that ALWAYS got us into the group. One of us would go to a girl in the group and be like, “Hey, I need your help on something. Do you think my friend Mike—or whatever your friend’s name is—is gay? I mean, look at his nice shirt, nice hair, nice skin. He’s gotta be gay!” Not only do girls laugh at this, but they feel they have to give their input. Nothing quite flatters like asking for advice.
2. Ask questions.
As in the previous example, asking a group for their opinion on something—especially something funny—is a great way to get inside the group, then get to the girl you’re interested in. If you ask the question in a genuine way, and listen intently, the group of girls will feel flattered and excited. You’ve also given them a spark to an otherwise boring evening out. Joke about their answers, and ask more questions, and you should be in for a while.
3. Tell a story.
Good story-telling is probably the best “in” to a group. If you can make up a good story, like, “Hey, did you see that crazy guy in here who was dancing around in his underwear?”, or “Hey, have any of you ever heard of Celtic soul-gazing?”, then you should be in. You have to be convincing, and a good story-teller, but it’s a great way to open up the group to outsiders. Entertainment=Results.
4. Develop a secret, “inside” joke.
Nothing works quite like having something personal between people. An inside joke, or a secret handshake or sign, is a great way to do things. Try saying something to the group or individual girl like, “Hey, ya know, we need a secret handshake or something.” Girls are all about making connections, so doing something that builds a strong foundation for friendship means guaranteed success.
Finally, as I said before, live in the moment.
Don't anticipate what's going to happen, or fret about what did happen. Who cares if you said something stupid...you can actually use that to your advantage, by making it into an inside joke. For example, I once ripped my pants while leaning over to get a drink. It could have been HUGELY embarrassing, and in a way it was, but instead of freaking out and saying, "Oh man, I'm so stupid, damn this sucks!", we made it a joke. I talked to the girl and laughed about it, then it became a joke as we saw each other again: "Are your pants all together this time?" Have fun with it, and use potential embarrassments to your advantage!
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