It’s easy for us men to think that women won’t go for us unless we have a special talent.  But as Erika Jong said, "Everyone has talent.  What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads."

It’s true: we all have talents.  Think for a moment about a talent you may have.  It could be anything:  

• You know how to play billiards really well 
• You can speak a foreign language (even if not fluently)
• You know how to fix cars
• You know some magic tricks
• You can do really good impersonations
• You know how to play an instrument
• You’re really good at your job
• You can cook a great plate of lasagna (or any dish, for that matter)

Don’t discount anything.  In my audio series, "The Art of Impressing Women," I detail some great ways to impress women, and one of the most important ways to doing this is to not only have, but DISPLAY, a talent–no matter how marginal it may seem.

One of my favorite "guy" movies is "The Tao of Steve," which shows how Dex, a fat guy with no aspirations, easily gets hot, gorgeous women.  How?  Simply by following the 3 rules of the Tao.  They are:

1. Eliminate your desires.
2. Do something excellent in her presence, thereby proving your sexual worthiness.
3. Retreat, for as Heidegger said, "We pursue that which retreats from us."

Or, to put it more simply:

1. Be desireless
2. Be excellent
3. Be gone

Dex’s talent was that he knew how to cook a really mean lobster dish; thus, he fulfilled the second rule.  He knew one thing, and he did it well.  In the process, he followed the first and third rules of the Tao by not being overly eager to impress the girl and get her phone number, and just after he impressed the girl with his talent, he would be gone.  After cooking for her, he would say, "Well, I gotta get ready for bed."  She would beg him not to go, thus de-powering herself and em-powering Dex.  And he would say, "Well, I guess I could stay a little longer."  And you can guess where it went from there…

So, like Dex, you should aim to be excellent at something, all while "holding the cards" to a woman’s heart.  Does that mean you have to know how to cook gourmet meals or buld your own motorcycles from scratch (a la American Choppers)?  Hell no!  It simply means you have to find within yourself that one talent, that one skill, that separates yourself from the rest of the male pack–and use it to your every advantage.

I’ll give you an example of how to do this.  His name’s Jared, and he’s not the most talented person in the world.  Like Dex, he’s not exactly a man on a mission; he plays lots of video games and watches lots of TV.  Yet somehow he’s never lacking for female companionship.  Why?  Because when he goes out and meets girls, he does something that amazes them: he’s taught himself (proving that great talent does not have to come naturally) some really impressive card tricks.  That’s it.  Jared’s not an athlete, he’s not a gourmet cook, he’s not a guitar player.  He just taught himself how to do some cool magic tricks, and does them so well that girls are naturally attracted to him.  It works!

But does Jared go out of his way to show off his skill?  NO.  Actually, what Jared does is act really easy, really casual, ask the girl lots of questions about herself (first rule of the Tao: be desireless), then wait til there’s a pause in the conversation to ask, "Hey, you wanna see something cool?"  The girl will say yes, and he’ll tease her: "Oh, too bad.  You’ll have to wait til later."  This is what I call "curiosity building," and it’s a proven girl getter.  Stimulate her curiosity, hold her at bay, and she’ll not only become more curious in your talent, but more interested in you. 

So Jared will string the girl along for a while, then say, "Fine! Fine!  I’ll show you the stupid trick," with a grin.  This changes the game so that the girl has become the chaser, Jared the chased, and he is able to "placate" her with his trick. 

What Jared does, in essence, is follow the first rule of the Tao to the T: he acts truly desireless.  He turns the tables on girls so that THEY seem like the ones filled with desire, not him.  In making them more desirous than him, he becomes more empowered and, of course, more attractive.  It’s truly brilliant stuff.

On top of that, once Jared has impressed the girl, he makes sure to follow the third rule: RETREAT.  He strings along the girl for so long that she can’t help but be attracted to him.  And just when she’s realized that she’s met a really great, talented guy, he says, "I have to go," or, "Hey, my buddies are waiting for me."  By doing this, he ensures that the girl needs him, more than he needs her.  In the process, she’ll give him her phone number and ask him for a date, in a desperate attempt to see him again.  He expertly becomes the pursued, not the pursuer–now that’s a magic trick!

This is all part of the art of impressing women, an art that takes time to master but once you’ve done it once, the next few times are easy.  Naturally, it does require that you actually show the girl your talent in action, of course; saying you’re a great cook and then not being able to describe what you do accurately, or not be able to cook for her at all, will only make you look foolish and lose the girl quicker than you say, "Gone." 

But now, as a single guy or a guy looking for a new relationship, you have the chance to work on the skills you have, however small they may be, and do something truly magical to impress women.  Look at your time of single status not as a loss, but as an opportunity, to become a truly one-of-a-kind guy.

And once you’ve figured out what your talent or talents is, make the most of them.  Learn how to lead girls along with your talent;like Jared, create opportunities out of them.  If you know how to cook, ask the girl what her favorite plate is.  Say she answers, "Penne a la vodka."  You should respond, "Really?  Wow, that’s cool, because I make a great dish of Penne a la vodka."  She’ll naturally want to see how you make it, so you can answer, "Yeah, it’s too bad I have to be leaving, you won’t get to try it just yet."  Don’t ask her to come over to your house to try your cooking–instead, be desireless and retreat.  Make HER ask to come to your house or apartment to try out your cooking.  That way you’re making HER the desired one, and YOU the empowered one.  And when you "hold the cards," you can get anything you want.  ANYTHING.

It’s all about learning your talents–and knowing how to use your talents.  No less an authority than Benjamin Franklin said, "Hide not your talents.  They for use were made.  What’s a sundial in the shade?"