How to Approach Women

April 20th, 2024
From James:

What's up? Thanks for joining me. In today's edition, exclusive to members and newsletter subscribers of 000Relationships.com, you learn how to successfully approach girls, anytime, anywhere. Use my scientifically-proven techniques to make sure your approach works, and that you get lots of dates with ease. Know what women want, what to say, and how to say it. It's all here! Enjoy.

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lesson2009.mp3 (7:07 minutes, 6.52 MB)

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Take the Short Cut! Transcript of Today's Lesson

Today’s lesson is called “Art of the Approach: Meeting Once, Meeting Twice.”

In it I’ll be discussing how to use the strategies you’ve learned to go from meeting at a bar—to a great relationship. Some of the topics I’ll be discussing include:

So first let’s talk about pick-up lines. They just don’t work. You know why? Because they’re predictable and ordinary, the exact things girls DON’T want from a guy. When you feed a standard pickup line to her, you’re communicating that you’re the same as every other guy you there. Not what you want. What WOMEN want are excitement, spontaneity, surprise. They also want someone GENUINE. So when you’re talking to a girl, don’t look like you’re copying someone’s lines; talk like you just noticed her and, being confident, decided you want to pursue her. Be open and honest; don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. Use open body language—a relaxed, leaned-back body, and open arms and legs. Direct eye contact is also CRUCIAL; looking down or away while talking just doesn’t fly. Most of all, if you’re able to shock a chick with surprise—as I explained the merits of in the last lesson—then you’re really in for a treat. Or rather, she is.

So I talked about how to talk to a girl if you’re approaching her one-on-one. But a lot of times you won’t be able to just go up to her; you’ll have to get through her group of friends, first. If you have some buddies with you, this is where the old “wingman approach” comes in handy. Make sure you and your buddy, or buddies, are on the same page as each other. Don’t go into a group with differing approaches—there’s nothing worse than one guy being cool and relaxed, and another being all braggadocio and stupid. Key your buddy in to how you want to approach.

A lot of guys ask me, “How do I just go up to a group and start talking?” Well, let me tell you what works from past experience:

1. Use Humor. I had a friend I did a schtick with that ALWAYS got us into the group. One of us would go to a girl in the group and be like, “Hey, I need your help on something. Do you think my friend Mike—or whatever your friend’s name is—is gay? I mean, look at his nice shirt, nice hair, nice skin. He’s gotta be gay!” Not only do girls laugh at this, but they feel they have to give their input. Nothing quite flatters like asking for advice.
   
2. Ask questions. As in the previous example, asking a group for their opinion on something—especially something funny—is a great way to get inside the group, then get to the girl you’re interested in. If you ask the question in a genuine way, and listen intently, the group of girls will feel flattered and excited. You’ve also given them a spark to an otherwise boring evening out. Joke about their answers, and ask more questions, and you should be in for a while.
   
3. Tell a story. Good story-telling is probably the best “in” to a group. If you can make up a good story, like, “Hey, did you see that crazy guy in here who was dancing around in his underwear?”, or “Hey, have any of you ever heard of Celtic soul-gazing?”, then you should be in. You have to be convincing, and a good story-teller, but it’s a great way to open up the group to outsiders. Entertainment=Results.
   
4. Develop a secret, “inside” joke. Nothing works quite like having something personal between you and a group of people. An inside joke, or a secret handshake or sign, is a great way to do things. Try saying something to the group like, “Hey, ya know, we need a secret handshake or something.” Girls are all about making connections, so doing something that builds a strong foundation for friendship means guaranteed success.

Now, with advice questions, such as “Do you think a guy who’s traveling should be able to cheat on his girlfriend?”, make sure you listen to the advice girls give. As you get to know the group, ask them more personal questions about them. A lot of the other “relationship gurus” recommend busting the balls of the girl you’re interested in. For example, if your “target” gets really excited, you can say, “Wow, is she always this hyper?” or, “Hey, can somebody calm this one down?” This shows you’re not too interested—and makes Her have to prove herself to YOU! That’s a winner’s game.

Okay, so now you’re alone with your target, the girl you want to talk to. How do you set things up for another date? It all begins with the first lesson I taught you--ABC: Always Be in Control. In this case, be in control of yourself by being relaxed, calm, and PATIENT. Don’t worry the whole time about getting her phone number; it’ll come if you act like you KNOW it will come. Remember to show an open body that suggests you’re relaxed, and confident. Keep your hands wide, your feet open. ALWAYS look a girl in the eye; if you don’t, you’ve already lost. Steeady eye contact conveys confidence and control over the girl. Leaning back like you’ve got all the time in the world is also great; it will calm and relax her, too. Just by doing these things, your girl will see that this is a guy she SHOULD give her phone number to. The ironic thing is, the less you show you care about seeing her again, the more likely SHE’LL care and give you her phone number, or suggest you meet up another time.

However, it will eventually be time to suggest you get together. Unless things are going REALLY great and you feel like you won’t even need to wait til next time for things to happen, the best thing for you to do now is to LEAVE HER HANGING—especially when things are going well. Try it after a make-out session, or just as things are winding down. It shows you are not DEPENDENT on her—you can have bigger and better things to do. The choice is up to her if she wants to come along. This leaves her hungry for more. Believe me, nothing shows control quite like saying, “Hey, I’ve gotta go, my friends are waiting for me” in the middle of a make-out session. She’ll be baffled, and VERY curious. If you feel like you want to get her phone number, turn back as you’re leaving and say something simple like, “Maybe we should hang out sometime,” and just watch as she pushes her e-mail or phone number into your hands! Get what you want, by showing patience and control. How’s that for success?

In today’s lesson, I talked about “The Art of the Approach: Meeting Once, Meeting Twice”. So we talked about three things today in setting up a successful first date. They are:

In my next few lessons, I’ll be discussing ways to make, and keep, your relationship strong. Only here, on How to Be Irresistible to Women. Now it’s your turn!

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