{"id":33,"date":"2006-09-17T09:40:07","date_gmt":"2006-09-16T21:40:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.000relationships.com\/towomen\/live\/2006\/09\/17\/33\/"},"modified":"2006-10-27T09:56:40","modified_gmt":"2006-10-26T21:56:40","slug":"33","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.000relationships.com\/towomen\/live\/2006\/09\/17\/33\/","title":{"rendered":"One&#8230;and Done"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I still remember getting the call, the call&nbsp;I knew would come but was nonetheless shocked to hear.&nbsp; My friend, Johnny, after just 10 months of marriage to a girl everyone knew was wrong for him, had gotten divorced.&nbsp; Instead of becoming a happily-ever-after couple, Johnny and Marissa had joined millions of other Americans and become <em>statistics<\/em>.&nbsp; Statistics of the all-too-common divorce.<\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s funny how these short-term marriages and long-term miseries occur.&nbsp; Usually it begins with a bad case of &quot;Oneitis.&quot;<\/p>\n<p>Don&#8217;t know the word Oneitis?&nbsp; Well, surely you know this infectious disease&#8217;s symptoms:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>You think you&#8217;ve met the girl who&#8217;s perfect for you, who you can have a great relationship with and eventually marry<\/li>\n<li>You ignore the bitchy behavior and abuse that comes from this girl, still believing that she&#8217;s &quot;The One&quot;<\/li>\n<li>You see and know girls who you know would be much better for you, but ignore them because the girl you&#8217;re with is better-looking, taller, skinnier&#8211;a number of superficial qualities that don&#8217;t add up to the love you know you could get elsewhere<\/li>\n<li>You spend lots and lots of money on this girl, and she never bothers to thank you&#8211;or if she does, it&#8217;s less than sincere<\/li>\n<li>Your friends all tell you that this girl isn&#8217;t right for you, but you ignore their advice<\/li>\n<li>Maybe your friends have even fought with this girl, but you defend her even though you know deep-down her behavior is unacceptable<\/li>\n<li>You spend all your time with this girl, and ignore your friends and family<\/li>\n<li>You find yourself calling her all the time to see what she&#8217;s doing, and who she&#8217;s with<\/li>\n<li>You can&#8217;t get this girl out of your head, even when she&#8217;s long gone!<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>If you&#8217;ve ever watched the classic film <em>Swingers,<\/em>&nbsp;then you know what Oneitis is: it&#8217;s the character of Mikey!<\/p>\n<p>Unfortunately, a lot of guys become the Mikeys of this world.&nbsp; And while some men may just go through this with&nbsp;a girl they&#8217;re only dating, other guys, like Johnny, take this obsession all the way to marriage.&nbsp; And that&#8217;s when the &quot;disease&quot; becomes <em>deadly<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>How do you know when a girl is right for you?&nbsp; I could write book after book after book about what&#8217;s right and what&#8217;s wrong, but what it comes down to are&nbsp;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.savemymarriagetoday.com\" title=\"How to know if marriage is right for you\">ten essential ingredients for lasting success<\/a>:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>She supports and encourages your goals and interests.<\/strong>&nbsp;&nbsp;A girl who&#8217;s right for you should follow you on your path&#8211;not try to re-direct it her own way.&nbsp; Unfortunately, Johnny&#8217;s wife wanted him to do something completely different to the direction he wanted to head, so it was little wonder that their romance fizzled out so quickly.&nbsp; Guys, if you can&#8217;t be open about your feelings, interests, passions and purpose, then you shouldn&#8217;t be with the girl.&nbsp; She should be able to listen and understand, not disregard and sneer.<\/li>\n<li><strong><em>You<\/em> can accept her and her goals and interests.&nbsp; <\/strong>Just like a woman should support and push you on the path you want to head, so too should you be able to do the same for her.&nbsp; If she&#8217;s into motorcycling and you hate it, or if she wants to travel the world and you just want to stay in one place, then chances are you two aren&#8217;t made for each other.&nbsp; Likewise, you should be able to understand her emotions and concerns&#8211;both of you MUST be good, compassionate listeners.<\/li>\n<li><strong>She loves you for you, not your money and possessions.&nbsp; <\/strong>So many rich and powerful men have destructive relationships with women.&nbsp; Why?&nbsp; Because the woman aren&#8217;t marrying these men&#8211;they&#8217;re marrying their money.&nbsp; And divorce isn&#8217;t cheap, so even when these guys break up with the bloodsuckers, the women still get a hefty chunk of the pie!<\/li>\n<li><strong>She generally gets along with your family and friends&#8211;and doesn&#8217;t mind seeing them.&nbsp; <\/strong>So many guys seem to forget this, watching dumbly as their girlfriend pulls them further and further from their family and friends to have him all for her own.&nbsp; I&#8217;ve got an uncle who blindly allowed himself to end all contact with his family because his wife hated them.&nbsp; Somehow they&#8217;re still married, but is that the kind of woman you want to be with?<\/li>\n<li><strong>She&#8217;s on the same page, spiritually, as you. <\/strong>Spirituality is a big thing for couples&#8211;it can unite them like nothing else.&nbsp; I know so many couples who are happily married because they believe in the same God, the same purpose in life, the same deep feelings about their existence.&nbsp; Conversely, couples who battle over the questions of life just do not have the same loving romance.&nbsp; A girl who&#8217;s right for you doesn&#8217;t necessarily have to believe in the same religious principles and dogmas as you, but if she&#8217;s an atheist and you&#8217;re a Christian, things may not work out long-term.<\/li>\n<li><strong>She wants to spend as much time with you as with her own friends and family.&nbsp; <\/strong>This may&nbsp;seem like&nbsp;an obvious one, but so many guys fawn over girls who only see them on THEIR schedule.&nbsp; If a girl is really right for you, you shouldn&#8217;t have to obsess over her or ask her permission to see her.&nbsp; You should both WANT to see each other and miss being with one another&#8211;that&#8217;s a sign that you&#8217;re both in love.<\/li>\n<li><strong>You both share the same feelings for another.&nbsp; <\/strong>If you know deep in your heart that you want to marry her and spend the rest of your life with her, but she&#8217;s non-committal and vague, then you should certainly move on.&nbsp; A true, loving partner should accept you completely for who you are and what you feel.&nbsp; On the other hand, if you both feel comfortable sharing feelings with each other, and she accepts the deep things that you reveal to her, then you&#8217;ve found a true catch!<\/li>\n<li><strong>You both make time for each other, even through work and school.&nbsp; <\/strong>Spending quality time with one another is crucial.&nbsp; If your girl is always at her job, concentrating on her career, or studying for a degree, and not making an effort to be with you, then it&#8217;s time to move on.&nbsp; True love knows no bounds&#8211;including time.&nbsp; While it&#8217;s great to have a girl who&#8217;s serious about her career and education, this can also be a relationship-breaker if she takes either too seriously.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Money and possessions are not as important as love.&nbsp; <\/strong>This is a simple one: If your girl only talks about possessions and money, if that&#8217;s where her true values lie, then you might want to back out of the relationship.&nbsp; Every girl wants good things in life, but if she really loves you, then how much you make and how much you give her shouldn&#8217;t be #1 on her priority list.<\/li>\n<li><strong>You both are able to put each other ahead of yourselves.&nbsp; <\/strong>This can be the make or break of a relationship.&nbsp; If she&#8217;s willing to do things for you, sacrifice time with her friends or time at work to be with you and make you meals, then you&#8217;ve found yourself a winner.&nbsp; However, if she&#8217;s always cancelling dates, spending more time with her friends than with you, and never gets you any gifts or acts of service, then you&#8217;ve found yourself a bitch.&nbsp; Move on.&nbsp; When she treats herself&nbsp;more important than you, then you&#8217;re heading towards disaster.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>In the end, you want a girl who can you be you around, and know that you&#8217;re valued by her night and day.&nbsp; If you&#8217;re in a relationship now that you want to be more serious, ask yourself if the woman you&#8217;re with fulfills these 10 requirements.&nbsp; And if you&#8217;re looking for love, don&#8217;t get too far into it unless you really feel that the girl treats you right.<\/p>\n<p>For all of you in a marriage or just got divorced, I highly recommend you check out this great service I found over the web.&nbsp; You can get free, high-quality newsletters that will tell you how to handle your marriage, or find a new one, and what kinds of signs to look out for that your relationship is on the rocks.&nbsp; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.savemymarriagetoday.com\" title=\"How to save your marriage\">Check out Save My Marriage Today now<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>And remember: There&#8217;s a big difference between &quot;The One&quot; who&#8217;s right for you&#8230;and &quot;The One&quot; who will become your biggest nightmare!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I still remember getting the call, the call&nbsp;I knew would come but was nonetheless shocked to hear.&nbsp; My friend, Johnny, after just 10 months of marriage to a girl everyone knew was wrong for him, had gotten divorced.&nbsp; Instead of becoming a happily-ever-after couple, Johnny and Marissa had joined millions of other Americans and become [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[45,25,27,30,29],"class_list":["post-33","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-advice-relationship","tag-dating-tips","tag-how-to-attract-girls","tag-how-to-save-your-marriage","tag-oneitis"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.000relationships.com\/towomen\/live\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.000relationships.com\/towomen\/live\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.000relationships.com\/towomen\/live\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.000relationships.com\/towomen\/live\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.000relationships.com\/towomen\/live\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.000relationships.com\/towomen\/live\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.000relationships.com\/towomen\/live\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.000relationships.com\/towomen\/live\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.000relationships.com\/towomen\/live\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}