“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.”
-Oscar Wilde
Trust and honesty are two things that are talked a lot about in relationships. Certainly, a strong relationship is one in which both partners communicate in an upfront and honest manner.
But sometimes, the truth is the last thing your partner wants to hear…and it can get you into a lot of trouble!
Let’s look at some topics you never want to talk about with your girlfriend, fiancee, or wife!:
- Never talk about physical intimacy you had with ex’s. Nothing will get you into more trouble than giving too many details about your ex’s. Your lover may ask you about how it was…but don’t give her the answer! Simply move the conversation along to other topics. You can do this by teasing her and complimenting her simultaneously, making the whole question look silly: "What? Are you jealous? C’mon, you know you’re the best, why do you even need to ask?"
- Never talk about your partner’s poor finances. This is a big no-no, an absolutely big mistake. Even if you’re paying for everything and your girlfriend doesn’t make nearly as much money as you do, don’t make the mistake of saying you pay for everything and contribute to all the purchases. This is a quick way of getting into a big fight that goes nowhere!
- Never discuss your partner’s faults in a negative way. Nothing wrong with letting your partner know that she’s doing something wrong or needs some help, such as if she gets boozed up every night and offends people, or is too sloppy around the house. But bringing up your partner’s faults day in and day out, especially in a sardonic, bitter, or just plain mean fashion, will not accomplish anything. Not only will your partner come to resent you for always picking on her flaws, but she’ll never change and very likely leave you, as well. Girls need to be understood, not criticized.
- Never, ever talk badly about her weight! In fact, don’t even bring up the subject at all unless you can say nice things about her, such as, "Oh, have you lost weight?" or "Wow, your body’s looking really great today!" Too skinny, too fat: doesn’t matter. Either way, girls will be hurt by what you say, so stay away from this topic unless you can say something positive.
Of course, there is a certain place for the truth; no relationship is complete without it. While you shouldn’t talk about sex with past lovers, that doesn’t mean you can’t describe your relationships with her. Showing that you have nothing to hide is a big element of trust. Even if you had a bad break-up with a past girlfriend, it’s up to you to let your present lover know about it. The more you hide from her, the more trouble you’ll get into later.
So give your partner the truth–just not the painful truth. As Pietro Aretino says:
“I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies.”