Online dating is a multi-million dollar business, but for my money, I’d rather meet girls the natural way: out and about, in real-life situations. Not the bar, not the club. Just natural, fun ways that get both of you participating and talking about common interests and acquaintances.
Think that’s not possible? Au contraire. There are LOTS of great places to meet girls that don’t involve shelling out $75 a night for drinks or $30 just to get into a club. I met my girlfriend of the last two years on a tour through Berlin, and I know another guy who met his wife in his economics class. In both cases, we guys didn’t EXPECT anything to happen, and that was key. Remember, when you’re not looking, that’s when girls tend to show up! Expect the unexpected.
Besides this fact, girls LOVE to have a romantic story about how they met you. Believe me, they’d rather say that they met you in a one-in-a-million chance encounter in Paris than in a club, dancing to raunchy music. You have to appeal to their romantic sensibilities. Just look at all the Hollywood movies, like "Sleepless in Seattle", where girls meet guys on the radio, on the Empire State Building, in places you generally WOULDN’T EXPECT TO MEET.
It’s a fundamental rule: Girls don’t want the everyday, the routine, the expected. They want the unexpected, the unlikely, the unbelievable. They want something special they can tell all their friends, and that’s why looking—or rather, NOT actively looking—outside the regular venues is a winning idea.
So what are some places I recommend for meeting the love of your life? Well, of course you can’t HAVE the attitude that you’re looking; just play it cool, and be patient. I recommend the following five places:
Abroad. While travelling solo can work, it’s even better to go on a tour. Instant access to lots of girls travelling alone (or with a friend), and wanting to find a man of their own. Tours are GREAT ways for meeting chicks. And no matter where you’re from, there are SO many benefits to going to a country carrying a foreign accent.
At work. I ONLY recommend this if you are not in the same exact office together; you need some distance between you in case things go south. NEVER go for a girl who works 5 feet away from you; it will just create too many problems. My best friend’s messy relationship with an office mate proves this! But I dated a girl who worked in another department, and the break-up was fine; no messy office problems, no anxiety in the workplace. So if the attraction is there, right along with the distance, work offers a bounty of potential mates.
Evening Classes. Doesn’t get much easier than this. Social network? Check. You’re in the class, you get to know people, you’re all it in together. Something in common with the girl? Duh. Double check! Easy conversations—talk about the class, your dreams, what you’re doing here, etc. There are many other advantages, as well, but I think you can see how classes are a great way to find a girl. The best ones are those that only last 5-10 weeks—that way if you do go out with a classmate and things go sour, you won’t have to see her for long afterwards!
Through friends and family. In a "Sex in America" study, it was found that roughly two-thirds of the marrying couples met through mutual friends, coworkers, or family members. Never underestimate the value of using your friends, family, and even work acquaintances and classmates to find you a special someone. The best example I can think of is my good friend Rick, who met his wife through mutual friends. The two have been madly in love for 6 years and married for just over one year, and it’s still going great. Clearly there is value in using your "human resources" to find a girlfriend, or even wife.
Random places. As you know from my blog on Expectations, often the best relationships are created when you’re not looking. For example, on a night when I wasn’t even on the prowl, I met a girl I would date for two years while waiting for the NYC subway! And I met another girlfriend on a bus in Australia. You may only meet her for five minutes, but big things can happen from small moments. Life is crazy, so embrace the unpredictability of it all!
This should help all of you out there wanting to know how and where to meet more women. Good luck, and remember: the less you look, the more you find! Go to one of these places relaxed and not desperate, and you may not even have to look. Your dream girl might just come and find YOU.