My colleague Andrew sent me this joke, and it was illustrated the differences between the sexes so aptly that I had to laugh and share it with you! Enjoy.<\/p>\n
___________________________
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN<\/p>\nTake off clothes and place them sectioned in the laundry basket according to lights and darks.<\/p>\n
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.<\/p>\n
If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.<\/p>\n
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror – make mental note to do more sit-ups\/leg-lifts etc.<\/p>\n
Get in the shower.<\/p>\n
Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.<\/p>\n
Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.<\/p>\n
Wash your hair again to make sure it is clean.<\/p>\n
Condition your hair with conditioner enhanced with grapefruit and mint.<\/p>\n
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.<\/p>\n
Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.<\/p>\n
Rinse conditioner off hair.<\/p>\n
Shave armpits and legs.<\/p>\n
Turn off shower.<\/p>\n
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.<\/p>\n
Spray mould spots with tile cleaner.<\/p>\n
Get out of shower.<\/p>\n
Dry with towel the size of a small country.<\/p>\n
Wrap hair in a super absorbent towel.<\/p>\n
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and the hand towel on head.<\/p>\n
If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.<\/p>\n
_________________________
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN<\/p>\nTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave in a pile on the floor.<\/p>\n
Walk naked to the bathroom.<\/p>\n
If you see your wife along the way, shake willy at her making the "woo-woo" sound.<\/p>\n
Look at your manly physique in the mirror.<\/p>\n
Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.<\/p>\n
Get in the shower.<\/p>\n
Wash your face.<\/p>\n
Wash your armpits.<\/p>\n
Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse it off.<\/p>\n
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.<\/p>\n
Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.<\/p>\n
Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.<\/p>\n
Wash your hair.<\/p>\n
Make a Shampoo Mohawk.<\/p>\n
Wee.<\/p>\n
Rinse off and get out of shower.<\/p>\n
Partially dry off.<\/p>\n
Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.<\/p>\n
Admire willy size in mirror again.<\/p>\n
Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.<\/p>\n
If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the "woo-woo" sound again.<\/p>\n
Throw wet towel on bed.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING NOW BECAUSE MOST OF IT IS TRUE!!!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
My colleague Andrew sent me this joke, and it was illustrated the differences between the sexes so aptly that I had to laugh and share it with you! Enjoy. ___________________________ HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN Take off clothes and place them sectioned in the laundry basket according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[12,11],"class_list":["post-69","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-humor","tag-understanding-men"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.000relationships.com\/tomen\/live\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/69","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.000relationships.com\/tomen\/live\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.000relationships.com\/tomen\/live\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.000relationships.com\/tomen\/live\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.000relationships.com\/tomen\/live\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=69"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.000relationships.com\/tomen\/live\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/69\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.000relationships.com\/tomen\/live\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=69"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.000relationships.com\/tomen\/live\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=69"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.000relationships.com\/tomen\/live\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=69"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}