Do you think that you're too old for a man to give you a second glance? Is life wearing you out? Do you look at yourself in a mirror and only see the wrinkles, the cellulite, the wide hips?
The person you see in the mirror is the self you transmit to the world.
Our attitudes about ourselves are self-fulfilling prophecies. No matter what the origin – childhood mockery, a parent's well-meaning criticism, a boyfriend's angry dismissal – these attitudes about ourselves are still our choice. We choose to remember what was said to us or how we looked as teens. Yet if you took the time to examine those self-beliefs, many of them would no longer be valid.
I can't count how many celebrity interviews I've read where the celeb talks about how he or she was made fun of in school for his or her looks. Models were mocked for being tall and skinny. Actresses were tomboys or struggled with losing baby fat. Our appearance is always changing, and how we look today will not be how we look tomorrow.
Luckily, we have an enormous amount of control over who we see in the mirror. Remember that what matters is not what's there but what you see.
Here are my top three tips to see a beautiful, sensual, seductive woman looking back at you.
- Take the time to look in the mirror and love your face. Look into your eyes and love the wisdom in there. Love the body that bears the mark of all your experiences. If there's part of your body that you're embarrassed about or hate, pour extra love into that part. Love it until the sight of it pleases you, until you accept it and cherish it as part of yourself.
- Wear garments that feel silky against your skin. Sweaters so soft you want to rub your cheeks against them. Lovely nighties that cling to your curves. You'll find that when you wear clothes that feel sensual and good against your skin, you feel more sexy. One of the worst things we do to ourselves is wear tight clothes that compress our body such that it's difficult to breathe or move. Stop asking yourself whether a garment looks "sexy" in the mirror and start asking yourself whether it feels sensual to wear.
- Spend at least fifteen minutes every day pampering yourself. No, I'm not talking about your nightly facial or plucking those stray hairs. I'm talking about silly, unnecessary things like painting your toenails, using the expensive bubble bath just because, or dressing up for an evening in.
If practiced diligently, these tips will chip away at the perception of yourself as someone unattractive, dowdy, or plain. You'll reawaken the feeling of being beautiful and sensual without needing a man to tell you it.
And best of all, you'll find that the wonderful feelings you've awakened about yourself are reflected in how others see you. Friends will ask you your secret. Compliments will pour in your direction.
Your sense of beauty will have become a self-fulfilling prophecy.