"How to Be Irresistible to Women" 6-Part Mini-CourseDAY 4: How to Fix Shyness and Fear of WomenJune 16th, 2026 From James: Hey there, and welcome back to the How to Be Irresistible to Women 6-Part Mini-Course! Yesterday we looked at:
And over the next few days we’ll be covering:
Right, so now it’s time for you to discover how to fix shyness and fear of women, and also find out whether regular guys can attract hot women.
If You're a Regular Joe, Can You Still Get the Girls? We’ll start with the latter – can regular guys attract hot women? Well, if you look at it from an evolutionary standpoint:
Now, from an empirical viewpoint, we can plainly see every day a lot of average-looking men attracting the gorgeous women. I know one of my friends, in particular, who is hugely overweight, but he has the most gorgeous girlfriend. And even his last girlfriend was hot, too! He is confident, charismatic and passionate about what he does in life, and that is what attractive women are attracted to in him. So my answer is YES - regular guys CAN attract hot women IF they can demonstrate qualities such as confidence, passion, charisma and leadership. You need to become a man who is in complete control of your life and the situations that you find yourselves in WITHOUT the need for approval.
Now it’s time to look at… How to Fix Shyness and Fear of Women One of the first things you need to realize is that that fear you feel when trying to approach a woman for the first time, or when asking for her phone number, and so forth… It’s not actually fear.
Well, you could call it fear, but when you change your attitude to that feeling and see it as an adrenaline rush, as excitement, a sudden rush of primal juices running through you, you’ll find it a lot more tolerable … and perhaps even enjoyable! You see, this rush you get, no matter how debilitating it might seem, can actually be harnessed to HELP YOU … so long as you push through it. If you don’t feel that rush, that excitement, that nervousness and adrenaline, then you may not experience that enormous high that you get from successfully approaching a hot babe, even if you only talk to her for a couple of minutes and walk away. This energy boost can set you up for the rest of your day or night. Another thing that is extremely important for you to do – and this will help reduce your nerves – is:
Do you get nervous around women because you run out of things to say? Do you feel shy because you feel like you need to impress her with your amazing conversation skills, your good looks, style, and so forth? Do you feel better when she says something that indicates that she likes you? If this is the case, then your mind frame is set up so that you can’t help but be shy and nervous around women. You’re nervous because the entire success of the interaction is based on what SHE says and what SHE thinks of you. You just can’t live life thinking that way. You have to be a leader, make decisions and be validated by your own self. What YOU think of YOU is the MOST important thing. You are the best judge of how awesome you are. You should be trying to impress YOURSELF, not her. And I don’t mean that you should not respect her opinion and what she says. All I mean is that you should listen to what she says objectively, as though it is the opinion of one of your peers, not like she is a celebrity or someone who you suddenly have to be a pansy around. Women are not as different from you as you might think. Even the hottest ones! They have their own insecurities and fears that are quite often a LOT bigger than yours. Sure, hotties know that they can attract men, but THEY get super nervous about what to do when they actually like a guy. You’ll start to notice when you get to know more women that they are the ones who have more fears and insecurities. Your fears and insecurities are mainly going to surface during the early phases of courtship. Hers go on for much longer. Anyway, I wanted to let you know that women feel shy and nervous also not so that you can exploit them, but so that you are aware that they feel it, too. It’s all part of this wonderful world of attraction and dating. Another great way to reducing your shyness and anxiety is to become a fantastic conversationalist. I gave you some tips on that in the first newsletter.
How to Become Super-Confident It's all very well to say that you need to be confident around women, but how do you actually do it if you don't feel that way? Look at it this way: let's say that you wanted to race the fastest cars. Do you think you could become an excellent driver just by learning all you could about driving and thinking about it all the time? No. All the knowledge in the world isn't going to make you a fast driver: only experience can do that. You've got to get out there and practicing flirting with women that you don't really care about. Build up your confidence by knowing that you can hold a conversation with a woman who wouldn't ordinarily be your type. Go out on dates with women you're not particularly attracted to. This will give you an training ground where you can practice your techniques without the fear of being rejected by someone you actually like. Do this especially if there's a particular woman you're really interested in. Being perceived as attractive by other women will build your status in her eyes. Women always want what other women have. Plus, getting attention from other women will make you less needy for her attention. By working your way up from approaching average girls to approaching women who intimidate you, you're going to build confidence based on more than some vague "belief" in yourself. Your confidence is going to be based on knowledge that you've already experienced success with women. If you're still afraid of crashing and burning with beautiful women, there's only one way to get over that fear for good. Go out intending to fail. Wear the dorkiest clothes in your closet (pants pulled high at the waist, mismatched socks, pocket protector, you know what I mean) and go out to the hippest bar to approach women. Give each approach your best effort and watch what happens. By the end of the night, you're going to figure out that rejection won't kill you. In fact, the more you get rejected, the more immune to it you're going to be. Think about it this way: if you want to build muscle, you know you're going to have to experience pain. The more pain, the more gain. Pretty soon you start looking forward to the pain, because you know that it's a sign you're really putting in the effort. If you're not getting rejected, you're not taking enough risks, and you're not putting in enough effort. A guy can sit in the corner of the bar and watch women all night and leave without being rejected a single time. But hopefully you're the guy who's going up to different groups of women and opening conversations and facing the risk of rejection without fear. Once you figure that out, you can see why being confident and outgoing will help you more with attracting women than just good looks. If you want to master the attitude that will get you more women, I strongly recommend that you go get yourself my How to Be Irresistible to Women Mastery program. It not only features myself, but other well-known seduction experts contributed their theories, life-changing tips, and stories so that you can get better with women. Myself, Joseph Matthews, Carlos Xuma and Zan in particular give piles of information in this course about how to talk to women. I’m also very excited to tell you that Dr. Alex Benzer, a certified clinical hypnotherapist and NLP master practitioner, has contributed some breakthrough information to my Mastery program. You’ll learn from him how to come to terms with the issues and anxieties that affect you so that you can adopt a new, more focused system of thinking. Dr. Alex teaches you how to use this new mindset to become wildly successful with women. Now that you know that you can have the confidence to get the hottest women, whether or not you are shy or just a regular guy, tomorrow we’ll look at: Day 5: What to do if you're not her "type" All the best to your dating success!
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