But looks only go so far. Most women can look really good if they dress up, do their hair, makeup etc.

Personality means so much more (as far as long term relationships go) and in particular someone who has good social status and is a lot of fun, allows me to be myself, and is not insecure.

James

I agree with Beata that looks plays the most important part in the initial attraction a man has for a woman…

And I also agree with her husband that too much confidence is not what any guy is looking for.

But I have to tell you, there are a lot of women out there who are utterly beautiful who have extremely low self esteem that I’m just not attracted to. That’s the kind of woman who becomes suffocating in a relationship. Guys may ‘think’ that looks are the most important attribute, but in actuality, you’ll notice that a lot of very average looking women get guys falling head over heels for them.

And that’s because they are confident, fun and happy in themselves.

I think good looks and making an effort to keep up looking good is a very important quality in a woman and is the one that I see straight away.

What gets me initially attracted?

Looks get me attracted, but beautiful women come in all shapes and sizes (different men are attracted to different attributes).

I’m into women who are about size 14-18 with medium to large breasts and who go to an effort to keep their hair and makeup looking nice, and have a good sense of style in their clothing. I like women who wear skirts and dresses (I’m not your textbook guy who is into stick thin models, but honestly… not that many guys are!)

Are looks everything? No, but someone who makes an effort is very important.

But what actually makes me go out with a woman? (which is what I think you are all wanting to know?)

I’d say a strong sense of self esteem, someone who has goals outside the relationship and is also happy to support me with my goals without being needy or clingy.

In other words, I’d agree with self confidence, so long as the definition is NOT arrogant and a control freak. I’d say confidence that is on an equal footing with mine so that we can joke around with each other and I can be myself without making her feel insecure. And like I said above, someone who has goals outside the relationship and supports my goals and allows me the odd night out with the boys without being needy or clingy (in fact, better still, being supportive!)