Comments on: Cohabitation – Relationship Checker or Relationship Wrecker?

By: margohelp

margohelp — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 02:37:11 +0000

had recently herpes virus found in my blood. what I haveto do??? I’m in panic…

By: JW

JW — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 11:55:33 +0000

I met my husband on- line we first met physically after talking via internet , phone, web cam for six months. It was a back and forth journey for 2 years across the Atlantic. The cost, the time and the effort it was well worth it.

We lived together for 9 months solid( after he proposed) I did visit for long periods of time and stay with him. 6 weeks here, or 3 weeks( my profession is more flexible than his)

We knew each others habits before I moved my entire existence across the world. When you are doing something a major as that you have to be aware of as many variables as possible.

Also, its a matter of laziness, when people stay co habiting for more than 5 years w/out marriage or engagement. Unless they are like 18 or something, then its disoriented youth. Of course, what do I know.. Thank you for your time..

By: lucy

lucy — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 03:57:50 +0000

Just happened to surf in on this one. If you read this far,if you are a woman, DO NOT COHABITATE. The woman always ends up begging and pleading to marry the man. He is just in it for the convenience. Men these days are on a marriage strike. Well I think women should give them a strike, and they won’t like it. Marry us or no sex. At least women should get paid for doing it for free.

By: Stella

Stella — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 02:41:33 +0000

Comment by Stella
I got married at the age of 16 yrs. been married now for 45 yrs. been married to one man. The longer one has been married the more your love grows stronger for each other. Why? because you have now become one in Covenant.
Living together before making a marriage covenant between two people will never work. Why? Because when two people are attracted to each other at first many call it love. In reality its not love at all; only an attraction ( known as the lust of the eye) then follows the lust of the flesh- meaning the desire of wanting and having that person. then follows the pride of life= meaning now that you got the person you so desired The honeymoon is now over.
This is when reality sets in. One will never know what true love is all about. Why? because your looking for love in all the wrong motivations.
couples think they love each other at first. As many have said.That person wasn`t what I thought he was.
One will never find a perfect mate. The perfect mate happens when both partners in a marriage covenant become one. How does this happen? This is the fun part.
In the beginning of a marriage commitment covenant no one is ever truly in love its more on emotions by the desires of the flesh.
After the marriage covenant after the honeymoon and etc. Now you learn to love one another. How> You grow in love. In todays society you fall in love and then grow out of love.
Its the other way around. You must first grow in love to fall in love. When this happens you have eyes for no other, nor will you be tempted to desire another.Why? Because you now have grown to love each other with all of your heart, soul, and body. This is what makes you one and not two persons. You become one in mind,body,and soul. This is what a true marriage covenant is all about. something that todays society needs to learn.
True love does not demand its own way, is long suffering, Is kind, gentle.meek, forgiving, trusting, upholds. has faith in the relationship, endures all things. And etc.The rewards are abundently.
You will not find this kind of happiness outside of a marriage covenant. In a true love marriage covenant you will not be fault finding; but looking to nourish and build a stronger bond.
I know. I have been at it for 45 yrs. and I keep falling in love over and over again with the same person I married 45yrs. ago.
Staying committed to one another will make one a perfect mate in everything you`ve ever dreamed of.

By: AISHA

AISHA — Wed, 18 Oct 2006 08:02:33 +0000

I got married at a very tender age.The marriage broke up five years after.We cohabited for a few months before the marraige.To me it was out of necessity,i never got to know who he was till after marriage.
I cohabited with another guy for 3months and within this period i got to understand that we could not really made it to marriage.
You get to know a guy better if you in with him for a while before marriage,except you are the desperate type who is ready to take anything from a guy all because of marriage.Am currently a single parent of one,beleiving God for a partner.Am happier,well engaged,leaving happily with my daughter.I keep a date.
Cohabitation delays marriage,but a good ‘test run’.

By: Laurie

Laurie — Tue, 17 Oct 2006 05:17:29 +0000

I think living with someone could be a good idea to see if you are truly compatible on a day to day basis.

HOWEVER I think it is mistake to live together thinking it will bring you closer if you are insecure and in a hurry to cement the relationship.

If your relationship is moving toward marriage and living together is the last step to assess the reality of lifestyle compatibility, it is good.

Insecurity and the need to play house to convince your partner to stay with you…not good.

I have seen many women move in based on their insecurity about whether or not a man wants to marry them.

I believe moving in rarely leads to marriage if it is based on keeping your partner on a short leash or giving you an easy out if you were never really that committed in the first place.

By: afaf

afaf — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 13:09:07 +0000

hello,
Well I think that cohabitation is neither a wrecker nor a checker.It’s rather a step that people are used to do because it has become “a tradition” no more no less.I belive very strongly that cohabitation is only away to get away from the responsabilities of marriage.the reason that was said in the article that in cohabitation one gets the chance to the the partner better,to give oneselff the opporunity to see the partner in his daily life states:tired,awake asleep…etc is reason that shows the extent to which we care for fake and shallow details.Your hausband or your wife will care for you in all cases not because of ur body or ur habits,but because of your humanity first.Why do we care much about these reasons?it’s stupid..and it’s because our body changes.So the body that u have now will not the same one after 5 years.Instaed we should be able to say from the beginning:we are certainly different,are we ready to change our habits for each other?or each one of us will stick to the things that we’re use to?.This what should be said if u really want to live in peace in your marriage.And if u can’t answer this question to succeed in ur marital life u won’t be able to succeed in cohabitation either.All in all cohabitation is no more than a way to escape from our fears that will never fade if we don’t face them.

By: marlo

marlo — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 12:49:26 +0000

i think it is a cop=out,if you really,truly love someone,you put up with a bad habit……my husband and i separated for 2 yrs ,what an eye opening experience,all the little things that bothered me,i would do anything to have them and him,back.A relationship isnt a car you can trade in if its not fitting your needs,thats a little selfish,isnt it? you take it all,and you make the best of it,and be thankful for every day you have,find a way to laugh,it really is all little stuff….on a bittersweet note,my husband and i have been back together for almost 2 years,we have had our ups and downs,but we both realize how stupid weboth were,about little things,we just found out i have inoperable brain cancer….now those little things,are just that…..if you are blessed enough to have been given someone to love,let them know today just how much you do,tommorow may be too late……..

By: Mayan

Mayan — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 01:20:25 +0000

I think living together with your partner before making a huge commitment such as marriage is a good idea, primarily because of my own experience with a long term partner. Turned out he more or less expected me to be his mother, wench and cleaner all rolled in to one, where as my opinion was to share all chores and bills and be equals…. And we had been together for at least three years before living together! So anyway, when it was his turn to clean up or whatever, he would just leave it ’til I got annoyed and did whatever it was anyway! Imagine if we had got married before finding that out, there would have been huge divorce proceedings and possibly a murder or two, as we had a very rocky relationship to begin with! Now me and my ex, we are friends now and get on great but I would never live with him and he would say the same about me too. For those people out there who for whatever reason or belief choose to marry first before living with their partner, I put my hands up to them for showing great trust, courage and faith, because I wouldn’t do it, I’m too cynical…

By: amy

amy — Sun, 15 Oct 2006 23:43:15 +0000

Wow, this has been a heated debate!

I just wanted to remind you all again of our Comments Policy. We’re proud to publish all comments, but we reserve the right to edit any comments that fall on the fine line of lewd, obscene, or inflammatory language.

Sometimes when passions run high it can be difficult to take a step back and consider the impact of your words on others. But please remember that this blog is a public forum and should adhere as closely as possible to decency standards.

Thanks again for your understanding.