Comments on: Getting the Right Mindset

By: Ene

Ene — Wed, 30 Aug 2006 12:24:31 +0000

Thank you so much Amy for been there for us.

This is what I got from this message.

People will treat you exactly the way you treat yourself. So every woman should believe in herself and treat herself like the queen she really is.

Don’t let anybody tell you less. There is nobody better than you. They may look better than you, that is because they have taken their time to creat what you see and believe they are.

Therefore, you can as well start today, to make yourself the woman you have always dreamt to be. If you keep waiting for some one to make you what you want to become, honey; it maybe too late. Nobody will be able to love you better than you love yourself.

This is to all the women out there.

By: Jan

Jan — Thu, 24 Aug 2006 20:23:59 +0000

Hi, and that’s my story! I am so blue because all of my life I’ve wanted a man to love me. It’s just never come to me. There’s not a lot I can do because of financial restraints: I can’t afford a weekly manicure (and I can’t do it myself- I’ve tried), a monthly pedicure and simple things like that to make me feel better about myself. Right now, I’d be lying to say that I am inspired by your e-mail, even though it tells the truth. But my truth is that there just isn’t a whole lot I can do. I am 48 and the men mostly want someone young and smooth (understandably) and I just lost a fiance because he was looking at porn on the internet and arranged to get with one of the sluts. I am heartbroken and I feel like I will always be alone. I’m having a hard time accepting that, but at this point it is probably the best thing I can do for my head and my heart. Then I won’t worry about the manicures and pedicures and tans and facial treatments that I can’t afford. I know this is somewhat morose, but this is where I am at.

By: BlueAngel

BlueAngel — Sat, 12 Aug 2006 09:22:41 +0000

Dear Amy,

I also agree with what you have said. The advice you gave is exactly the situation where I am in choosing the university i want to go. I am a student, i have chosen the university that i want to go but i end up going into another university. We dont always get what we want in life sometimes.

At the moment, i am not looking into a relationship yet. But the advice you gave can help me to prepare with the situation when i find one. Thank you!

By: Laura

Laura — Fri, 11 Aug 2006 11:03:10 +0000

Thank you for this truly amazing article! I am currently struggling with the grieving process after my boyfriend of 8 1/2 years all of a sudden decided that (although “he loves me” and “will never find anyone who will ever love him the way that I do”), I am just not able to meet all of his “needs” and that he needs to find someone that can. I have been through the non-acceptance, bargaining and blaming phases. I retreat back to the non-acceptance of the situation but I am finding myself mostly angry now. My boyfriend and I live 60 miles apart from each other and for various reasons (beyond our control) neither was able to make the move. We both knew this going into the relationship. He is 41 and never married and always seemed content with our relationship. I am 44, divorced with 2 children, who are 13 and 10 now. Yes, I have tried desparately over the past two months to control and convince him that I am the woman that can meet his needs. I have let him see this out-of-control, extremely emotional side of me during our break-up, that I am sure has him scared to death. He always complimented me on how strong of a woman I am and I always had alot of self confidence and high self esteem. For the past two months, I have come home from work and gone straight to bed. (That is when the kids are at their dads, which is every other week) I have been hurting throughout my heart and soul. But then I moved into this angry phase and it feels alot better. I know I will get through this and I will be a better person because of it. I know that Greg and I will become friends again but it just is not going to happen right now. The acceptance of this loss is right around the corner. I have to be patient and continue to give the love I have in my heart to the people who love me back, unconditionally. Your article reinforces what I am only beginning to feel. Thank you!!!!

By: jennifer

jennifer — Thu, 10 Aug 2006 19:56:24 +0000

thank you

i couldnt stop reading till i got to the end! i use to have some much confidence but seem to have losted it, this really made me think about my life and how i use to be.

i will try harder to not just want things but to do something about it

thank u x

By: noran

noran — Thu, 10 Aug 2006 16:03:02 +0000

i realy have two main problems: irealy dont know how to attract men to me i just dont know how i never get a boy friend. i am realy shy and the only way to just not to show my shynes is to make fun with guys in my country i cant just invite men to lunch and its not proper to let them know our feelings toward them so heeeeeelppppppp

By: Nesrine

Nesrine — Thu, 10 Aug 2006 11:35:58 +0000

Have you ever thought that the word “rumination” might have been put in the dictionary to describe what we women do in our lives?
This is an inspiring article for ruminators. Yes .. you are right .. most of us ladies just keep thinking and thinking and talking and talking about what we want and wonder why we are not getting it.
I’m not claiming to be in perfect control of everything. I’m saying that once I knew what I was doing was merely ‘ruminating’ about my problems, I relaized that I needed to stop.
This is closely related to the positive attitude this article is encouraging us to have.
Stop thinking .. Do Something

P.S.: Thank you Hopeles Romantic for an enlightening response

By: thobekile

thobekile — Thu, 10 Aug 2006 09:06:07 +0000

wow,where have you been all this time??????????????????
THIS IS AN AMAZING EMAIL,HAVE YOU BEEN CREEPING IN MY DREAMS??THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I’M GOING THROUGH IN MY LIFE,I’VE BEEN ASKING MYSELF QUESTIONS & WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO FIND THE ANSWERS,ACTUALLY NONE OF MY FRIENDS COULD ANSWER MY QUESTIONS,BUT NOW ALL MY QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED THANX TO YOU.

By: Hopeless Romantic

Hopeless Romantic — Thu, 10 Aug 2006 07:52:19 +0000

Hi,

I recently came out of a 4 year relationship 6 months too late! Whilst my ex was still reeling from the break-up I met a guy who I fell SO in love with, that I'm absolutely certain to this day, I would have taken a bullet for, within weeks of meeting him. The timing due to my recent break up was terrible and although I believe we both had fallen for each other, we reluctantly agreed to take time out until things calmed down around us. The break, turned our to be a break-up and for the past month I have been to hell and back emotionally because I had something taken from me that made me happier than I had ever been in my life! The experience made me believe that such emotion and feeling actually exists though and I'll be honest, I'm still trying to cope with not being able to be with him. It's a hard rollercoaster to ride!

Your article does ring true, it doesn't matter what people say or do YOU need to go through the motions. It's not pretty, and you do feel totally out of control and you may even start to hate yourself a little for allowing someone to "get" to you like that! But it does get easier each day and the sick feeling in your stomach and the emptiness in your heart does subside. Don't try to forget him, it won't work. Maybe just try to remember the person you were when you first noticed him and perhaps aim to be that person again - to be you again. One thing I learnt and I've said it before and it never sunk in, was that "Never try to control others, or expect them to behave as you would, you can only ever expect to control yourself and your own reactions - that way you'll rarely be dissapointed".

At the peak of my desperation, I wrote an email to this guy wanting an answer, a reaction, anything! I got my answer and the truth dawned on me so I sat down and whether he read my response or not, it didn't matter, I wrote it for me, for my broken heart, for my shattered pride and for every other woman out there who sometimes need a slap in the face to realise that she is too good to settle for anything less than what she wants and deserves so much more than what she convinces herself is acceptable behaviour! Find a copy online at:

www.melbcbd.com.au/letter.html

I hope you enjoy! Excuse some of the language (it's a little emotive) however I hope it will give hope to a few of you out there!

Isay this to EVERY SINGLE WOMAN OUT THERE ***************** One thing is for certain: if it’s not mutual love, it’s not really love!

By: Katrien De Moor

Katrien De Moor — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 17:45:57 +0000

Hi,

I found a lot of truth in this article. In fact I believe that we need to focus in our mind on what we want and not on what we do not want, maybe that is the easy part. The difficult part comes when we also need to let go. This implies expecting the best, all the time, without attachment, without hanging on to the result. We also need to see the synchronisity of events. There are no coincidences in life. Every event, every encounter, every situation has a hidden message for us.
Gratitude for what we already have achieved is also an important factor. Maybe we should try to live the present, in a way as if we had already exceeded our wildest dreams and being grateful for that.

It has been working for me and this is not only true for relationships but for all aspects of our life.