Comments on: Getting Over the Ghosts

By: Melissa

Melissa — Mon, 14 Aug 2006 04:17:25 +0000

Your article points out the mechanisms for getting over wounds that were inflicted by past partners. What I’m struggling with is healing the wound created by my husband, my current partner.
Over a 6 month period of depression I gained 60 pounds, due in part to the medication I was taking. I have stopped taking the medication but have only lost 10 of the 60 pounds. I am 5′8″ and currently weigh 205.
My husband told me just yesterday that he feels our sex life is restricted by my extra weight. He said we cannot make love in certain positions because parts of my body are too large and get in the way. He said he cannot fully penetrate me and therefore the sex is not as pleasureable because of “the thickness of my skin.”
I am wounded so deeply by these comments. So much so that I doubt even time will heal them.

By: trishs

trishs — Mon, 31 Jul 2006 14:33:35 +0000

Hi! I just wantwed you to know that I highly appreciated your articles and the latest email you sent to me/us. I loved it. Thank you so much for you wonderful wisdom and insights into relationship / life.

Trisha

By: Ty

Ty — Wed, 26 Jul 2006 09:45:32 +0000

Excellent article, thank you. I am in a new wonderful relationship and I have realised some weeks ago that we can at times be haunted by ex relationship gosts. Hurtful comments made by my ex fiance during our 4 years together did bring doubts in myself.
Comments such as “you are lovely, but it s a shame that you re not a 90 C!” (he even suggested for me to go through surgery) made by the man you love can suddenly make you feel that you re not beautiful and worth loving. I didnt use to have much complexes before that but this hurtful comment created a block with him and in my future relationships. However the man in am now dating has been wonderful and very considerate, and I can see through his eyes how beautiful he sees me. This has allowed me to feel more confident, sensual and sexy, I now once again love the way I look and can in return share this with him.

By: Renee

Renee — Tue, 25 Jul 2006 16:29:39 +0000

I do believe we need to look inside ourselves before we enter a relationship. We need to make sure we are not holding on to our pasts. Whatever we keep in our hearts will hurt our relationships and us. W ehave to be very careful and examine our hearts. Always learning to let go of the painful words and actions done by others. If we learn to let go of these things, we will be so much better off. If we could just learn that we are not perfect and we will never fit anyone’s picture of perfection. We are unique. We are all beautiful however God made us. God did not make any mistakes. We must accept the beauty that is within us and it will show on the outside. Always being confident in who we are (not arrogant or conceited), and never letting negative things get us down.

By: Alison

Alison — Tue, 25 Jul 2006 16:26:59 +0000

Your article was incredibly well timed. I have been seeing the most wonderful man, who has shown me more love and respect than any of my previous partners combined. Yet, my ghosts still haunt me. Even though i am in counselling (I’m trying to undo the emotional damage left by a violent previous LTR) there are still times when I let doubts and fears creep in. Only today, I feel my reactions to some of his remarks, however innocently made, are due to an ongoing lack of trust where men are concerned. I’m just hoping it hasn’t ruined what was the best relationship I’ve ever been in.
There’s no easy answer. Trying to rid these demons from our pasts is like trying to remove scar tissue. If you’re used to taking abuse…you are naturally going to anticipate it..or is that just me?

I know I’m sick of being haunted. Maybe an exorcism would do the trick? hehe

By: Stana

Stana — Tue, 25 Jul 2006 14:58:48 +0000

Hi your article was right on .I think near all of us can relate to the fears and ghosts of the past..and the present!…if we can’t we prob need to see a counselor bout getting in touch!…If i read between the lines (or between you and the car belt!)you are expecting a little one?! Congrats….I can remember 2 things esp when i had my first…one was i was afrad we would somehow break her on the way home in the car first auto trip! and also i remember looking at her and saying out loud …ahhhh they say we are suppose to talk to you…so ahhh here we go I hope it works…she went on to become a psychologist!Didn’t break! and the talking must have worked !Enjoy ~!Our children are the greatest gift we give our selves and to the world…nothing like it you are in for a real education Lady so undo your seat belt…and hold on!..here we go!! To blessed life! Been there done that and would not have missed it for the world! well on the other hand!! Just kidding….thanks Stana