Comments on: Readers Story Competition Winner

By: walli

walli — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 18:22:36 +0000

I think the author is right: for those of us whose fathers grew up in the Depression years, today’s men can’t compare.

What I mean is this: my dad, a retired soldier, died last fall. He was 80 years old and had bravely struggled with cancer for the last seven years of his life. And yet, when you asked him how he was, he unfailingly answered, “I’m all right.”

Even though I know he and my mom endured more than a few years of misery, it would never have occurred to my dad to get a divorce. You see, he knew what commitment meant. And so did my mom. They toughed it out, together.

My dad’s strong sense of duty meant my mom was provided for and so was I. Even as he lay dying in his hospital bed (just hours before we got him home) his last conversations revolved around making sure the bills were paid and checks were written. He also wanted to make sure I finished law school! (And I’m in my 50s!)

When I look at my dad, compared to say, my ex-husband, I see a man, my father, who never gave up. He never gave up on his marriage or on life. He didn’t run away when times got bad. He didn’t leave my mom even though she’s not the easiest person to get along with. (Though my dad could be difficult too.)

The point is, that generation is aptly called “The Greatest Generation” precisely because so many of them epitomize the best parts of humanity: diginity, sacrifice, commitment, patience and endurance.

When Noel says she hasn’t found men like her father, and that she’s been unlucky, it may be precisely because she had such a good role model in her dad and few men today can live up to that.

I just hope there are some men out there of my generation that can live up to the strength and commitment my dad had. And I hope to be worthy of him when he does come along.

By: Lynn

Lynn — Fri, 30 Jun 2006 21:16:26 +0000

I’m not buying that her father was such a gift. In my personal experience and through years of therapy, self help books and just observing people and relationships. When a woman has a loving, supportive, good role model as a father they have high self esteem and respect for themselves so they DO pick out good men. How a woman relates to a man, how she expects to be treated and being able to choose good men depends on their relationship with their father. I don’t understand how if her father was “all that” she and her sister both would chose lousy men. Don’t make any sense - sorry… doesn’t get my vote.

By: Catherine

Catherine — Wed, 28 Jun 2006 01:49:56 +0000

I can relate, my sister and I also have the same bond of not having good luck with men…we call it a “curse” though. I loved your essay, it’s original, not the same blah, blah, blah stories that you get tired of reading.

By: Susan

Susan — Tue, 27 Jun 2006 15:39:55 +0000

I loved the first story. It was like sitting down with my grandma again who passed away five years ago! And my dad is so like that too. I wish there was a guy out there like him. Maybe that is why I am still single?

By: Neka

Neka — Tue, 27 Jun 2006 15:15:10 +0000

First off, if this post doesn’t post; I think it would be because my opinion of the judges’ choice as a first place winner isn’t justifiable in this standing. I liked the 2nd place winner’s story far better. Although it won 1st place, as it is a good story; I just think there is nothing ‘romantic’ or really sustaining about the story. What is the ‘main’ point and where is it reemphasized? Where is the TRUE reality in what to look for? Who is going to ‘really’ find a “Great Depression” guy? Do I even want one? Because if they are trapped in how ‘hard’ it was back then (when I already have parents shoving that down my throat) then who can really be optimistic about the future and prosperity when it hits? They would make you feel so guilty for having it better! It lacks reality. You shouldn’t have to be ‘poor’ to bond or have to have had to go through anything to bond. The story lacks anything expressive of what commitment is. It has absolutely no ‘explicit’ description of what qualities one should have. On the other hand, the 2nd place winner’s story does. She shows and demonstrates ‘patience’…..don’t just rule out on the first date, she shows ‘unselfishness’ ….getting out of ‘your’ norm to see the other side while ALSO exposing someone who is ‘willing’ which is another quality synonymous with ‘agreeableness’ and she also showed ‘observation’….letting her observation of his ‘actions’ rather than words confirm the love her ‘beloved Lloyd’ had for her. The most important thing is she demonstrated that it takes ‘time’ to get to know someone and when ‘time’ is taken out, demonstrations should be ‘progressive’….I saw ‘progress’ over the timespan. She mentioned ‘growth’ that came out of ‘patience’ and a big hint is that maybe a previously ‘divorced’ man is a far better man having learned to have to be ‘willing’ to know it’s just not all about him, perhaps.