Comments on: 3rd Place Readers Story Competition

By: Marie Jacquelyne

Marie Jacquelyne — Tue, 29 Aug 2006 18:24:51 +0000

I had remarried and into the 4 months of marriage, on nite he lifted his hand to hit me and his son stopped him.

Next day when he arrived from work, I had moved out, went to see my lawyer friend and got a divorce and never returned no matter what promises he made.

By: Missey Korang

Missey Korang — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 10:29:42 +0000

Auriel yours was a relationship you could quit congrats!!
I grew up in a house where daddy never beat mum,he didn’t use drugs but emotionally he abused her and even us.Me and my big sister were affected the most because mummy tend to vent her anger and frustration on us to the extent of beating us with slippers and smearing pepper over our bodies.Mummy never left him because he had a very good job that paid our school fees and our bills and maybe because she loved him.As a result i had a bitter childhood i would rather forget. I grew up timid and angry. I never got to see a shrink (how many do you see in Africa anyway). But i determined to forget my bitter past and read books that helped me.

Please if u’re reading this,beware what abusive relationships can do to people around you. It did me great harm. PLEASE AVOID IT!!

By: Yvonne

Yvonne — Tue, 27 Jun 2006 18:41:30 +0000

Auriel, I too stayed in an abusive relationship. He did not do drugs nor drank…he was simply an abusive man, who was brought up in a household where his father regularly beat up his mother. I stayed in that marriage of 6 years, because he had so totally undermind my self esteem. I really believed I could not function by myself….
Abusers are the worst kind….I am out, have been out for a number of years, with the help of a wonderful “shrink”…who made me read the book the Dance of Anger, over and over again….you see I was also brought up in an abusive household, so the behavior of my abusive husband was only too familiar to me….I had already learned all the dance step around it. I was the perfect mark. I am sure I will never ever fall prey to an abuser again…and neither will you.

By: Sheila

Sheila — Tue, 27 Jun 2006 15:56:52 +0000

Auriel, I’m so glad you got out!

While studying to become a solcial worker, a friend of mine wrote an essay on “Why Women Stay with Violent Men”. She turned up the apaling fact that women leave after an average of 37 beatings. 37!

And the main reason women stay is that their abuser has so wrecked their self esteem that they think they can’t cope without him. Abusers have a particular way of talking to their victims. “It’s a cruel hard world out there, and you need me to protect you from it.” (While never actually saying what they do to protect you.) Mind you, I can think of a few politicians who talk that way.

I have read of two women who’s abusers stopped after the first offense. Both women took drastic action as soon as it happened for the first time. One woman took their son and disappeared for a week. The other waited until he’d fallen into a drunken sleep, took the poker, and assaulted him right back.

I have never, ever, EVER heard of an abuser who stopped after the second offense. IF anyone reading this is in an abusive relationship, HE IS NOT GOING TO STOP until you leave.