Comments on: Can Men Just Be Friends?

By: Hanna

Hanna — Thu, 22 Feb 2007 00:59:24 +0000

If You want to check what really guys try to do all the time just check

By: Vivian

Vivian — Mon, 01 Jan 2007 13:36:54 +0000

I had the same mentality as Amy’s. However, I did one time had this discussion with my boyfriend and what he said actually verified the male Ladder Theory. He said men and women can never be friends. It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship that a man have with a a woman, if he waited patiently enough and everything was right, then the man will have sex with the woman whether or not they are friends. So he said don’t be so naive about men.

By: Marie Jacquelyne

Marie Jacquelyne — Wed, 06 Sep 2006 13:41:47 +0000

Well girls, learn something..men are men and even as friends they will think of you “sexually” and won’t only “if” they are not “into you” or gay!
In my life time I have slept with “friends” which now they call “fuck friends” sorry to be crude..but that is the reality. We stayed friends but had sex without the committement.
Some guys I would have never slept with and they would never sleep with me. I was so friends with one guy that when we did end up in bed together. We both started laughing because he couldn’t get it up and I wasn’t interested either..so we remained just that..”Friends”.
I know how to handle that situation when I meet a man and if his sexual attraction to me is too strong then we don’t remain friends because it is frustrating..same way for women. I have a high attraction for one man that I know isn’t right for me and everytime I see him my hormone gland goes out of whack.
But am a woman who doesn’t like anything to control me. So I stay out of his way and do everything not to see him.
I will always be attracted to him but am not letting that stop me from falling in love with the “right” guy. I laugh at all these ladder or gland theories..because that is all they are. You know yourself, know what you want, know what you don’t want and get what you want. So you make a mistake now and then, so cry, wipe the tears and move on. No man is worth crying for than 3 seconds. I don’t care who he is. Of course there is the exception..if he was great and he died..but then life must go on.
I love the way I think and I learned it from all experiences I had good and bad and put it on the positive outlook. All negative has a positive side to it and that is how I look at it.
I know men want me when I meet them, but I know how to handle that and am upfront with it. So going for a cup of coffee..means sex to men after..but not to me..unless that is what I want.
Men and women are not that complicated..its the male society who want to make us think what they want to think but then..who gives birth..hah..let them try that! We dont even need them to have children now..but they always will need a womb! So who has the upper hand..we do and don’t forget it.
I have had men say that they hate women because we give birth and they are jealous because they can’t be without a woman to have a child and I reply..”Yep, we are in control and don’t forget it.” Look in the news, look at different societies what men do to women, burkas, tying of the feet to make them small..chinese, veils etc etc..why do you think and trust me it has nothing to do with religion..that is just an excuse.!!!

By: Joku

Joku — Wed, 30 Aug 2006 12:03:42 +0000

First of all.. What does it matter if someone sees you sexually as well as a friend? I don’t mind lesbians as friends either if they don’t come on to me…
Same with men, if he is attracted but we both know that that is that and no more.. then why not be friends?

I have a male friend, I was in love with him for years, (not nowadays though) but he knew that our relationship would never work, so we never did it… he just wasn’t into me in that way… =)
And he is definitely a friend - if I have trouble or something in my mind, and I sms to him that I’d need someone to listen, he calls me.. and he knows that he can rely on my friendship.

The ladder theory. Well, that can be true with normal situation but it can be overcome, IF a man has enough psychological eye.
This book http://www.seductionbook.com/ .. I’ve read the actual book, and I know that at least it works on me… Even now after reading how it is done, it would work, if a man had enough skill to work on seduction.

By: Patty

Patty — Tue, 23 May 2006 14:08:11 +0000

I think the ladder theory doesn’t always work, as in my case. I was physcally attracted to my boyfriends best friend as he was attracted to me. But we never hooked up, we both got married had children and moved on with our lives,(we remained friends,the attraction was still there). He divorced and moved on with his life. Shortly thereafter I divorced…we eventually got together and started seeing one another, it was really hard to cross the line or jump from one ladder to the other but it eventually happened and we loved it and loved being together, our children grew up together so they knew one another. Again our lives took a turn and we eventually found another person, we still have deep feelings for each other but we have jumped back to the ladders where we belong (friends).We have both remarried and are getting along fine in our new marriages, we still see one another every now and then but only on a friendship level, we will always know that there is something there and will never die. We have told one another that if we ever find that when we are old and gray and alone that we will find one another again be happy and never part again.

By: Maureen

Maureen — Fri, 19 May 2006 18:07:41 +0000

I agree that mostly men wont commit before they are fully cinvinced that you are the woman they want in there lives so a possibility of friendship without any seriouse commitment is very much possible.

By: Becca

Becca — Wed, 10 May 2006 01:53:36 +0000

I have a guy friend, and when we met I thought of him strictly as a friend. After a few months I started to like him, and after flirting on his part I decided to ask him. He told me that he wasn’t ready for a relationship and that he was too old. But we continued our friendship and after a bit of time it felt like before, and he was still flirting and sometimes talking about us in relational terms. He still says there is nothing there and that it’s luck of the draw who we are attracted to. I’m not sure what to think about him.

Basically, I’m saying I think Ladder Theory is true for a lot of people, but of course it isn’t a fool proof theory.

By: Stefany

Stefany — Fri, 28 Apr 2006 04:17:10 +0000

I couldn’t say I agree…I believe that men are looking for a woman that will be their best friend as well as their lover! Someone that they can play basketball with and be freaky with! I believe that a great long friendship is the key to a long lasting relationship!

By: Sherelle

Sherelle — Fri, 28 Apr 2006 00:32:48 +0000

Hi have to agree with this theory too. I have just experienced it. I was friends with a wonderful couple we had great times together and a lot of fun. To my great shock, they broke up. As I was friends with both of them I maintained my friendship with both of them. Next thing I know however is that HE has a crush on me and was asking me how I felt about his son! OH BOY. Well I had to say that nothing could ever happen as 1. His wife is one of my best friends and 2. I am in love with someone else. Well the good news is that he and his wife are working things out but it does go to show that these things happen. Both of them say that I had nothing to do with Him walking out but I have to wonder. I think guys will take an interest in women who are friendly even if they are in or just coming out of a relationship.

By: Heather

Heather — Wed, 26 Apr 2006 01:48:19 +0000

I totally disagree with this theory.

My current boyfriend was originally my totally platonic friend for a year before we started dating. When he was just my friend, I had absolutely no romantic interest in him at all.

Then, for some reason I changed and now he is my boyfriend. Ladder Theory would say that this is impossible, especially since I put him in the just friends category for over a year (with no romantic interest or feelings).

Similar things have happened before. Men who I though of as just friends and had absolutely no romantic interest in, later changed in my eyes, and I DID become interested in them.

So, at least in my experiences, a man who is in the just friends category (and absolutely nothing more) CAN change to the dating category.